


Smuggled Love

by bislayer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Multi, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, The 100 rewrite, all of these tags'll change as the fic progresses but here's where we're at rn, it get's posted on tumblr first so if you wanna get updated faster head over there, lmao i'm backing up my fic bc idk whats gonna happen with tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-16 19:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bislayer/pseuds/bislayer
Summary: The reader is a smuggler, which is why she got sent down with the 100. With a strong personality and a stronger sense of right and wrong, they often find themselves clashing heads with the self-proclaimed leader of Bellamy Blake.





	1. pilot

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is based off of The 100 episodes Pilot (1x1) and Earth Skills (1x2).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boisterous, strong-willed (y/n) of the 100, the supposed eldest, finds themselves butting heads with equally boisterous, strong-willed bellamy blake. to survive, they need to put their differences aside.

You looked up as you heard the little whish, signaling the cell door was opening. Two guards entered the cell, and your cellmate began to panic as the guards came closer. You sent her a glare, trying to get her to calm down, that what she thought was going to happen was not going to happen.

Unfortunately, she didn’t understand, and instead became hysterical, resulting in the guard’s baton being used, making you wince, and having to close your eyes, trying to ignore the smell of slightly singed flesh.

“Hey asshole! What the hell’s your problem?” You shouted as the other guard grabbed you and placed a bracelet on you, not resisting, knowing that you would also end up at the mercy of the electric batons, and you were already going to Earth anyway. The guard simply grunted, and gripped you tighter than he had before, nearly dragging you out of the cell into skyblock where everyone seemed to be in a panic.

“I got it from here.” A familiar voice said, and the guard shoved you towards the other guard, before walking away. 

“Took you long enough.” You teased, as you turned to face your best friend, Dave. 

“Yeah, well someone had to pack up your shit.” He grumbled lightly, letting you know that he wasn’t really upset.

“Yes, and I thank you tremendously for that.” You replied, your words teasing, although you couldn’t hide the heaviness in your tone. 

“Hey, you’re gonna be fine.” He reassured, though the air remained heavy, the severity of the situation hitting you. 

“Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?” You asked sarcastically, trying not to think about the fact that the air could be toxic and you could die.

You were about to walk into the dropship, before Dave stopped you, the worry apparent in his eyes, and for the first time in awhile you saw the 19 year old boy that had been like a big brother to you growing up. “Stay safe, okay?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, hugging him tightly, feeling his arms wrap around you. “Thank you so much.” You whispered to him.

“Yeah, of course.”

You let go, smiling at him, kissing him on the cheek. “Don’t get caught.”

“Don’t die.”

 

You gripped the straps, squeezing your eyes shut, jaw clenched, trying to stop panicking about the flight. You generally hated space, but traveling through it, or rather, falling into the atmosphere was pretty scary.

A slight whimper escaped your lips, other people screaming as a sudden jolt shook the ship, signaling that the dropship had entered the atmosphere. Almost immediately, you heard Jaha’s voice, confusing you, causing you to slowly open your eyes to see him on the monitor that had been installed in the dropship. He proceeded to make some speech, as you rolled your eyes, tuning out, looking at the people around you. You silently applauded those who were in the standing harnesses, not being brave enough to use one.

“Asshole!” You shouted at the recording as he called you expendable, another kid shouting at someone, causing you to look over, doing nearly a double flip as you saw the child of the Chancellor sitting in one of the seats, next to the daughter of Councilor Griffin. Though you had known about her. Everybody did.

You were now paying attention to the monitor, as Jaha talked about some place called Mount Weather, your attention diverted as you heard an ecstatic shout, looking over to see Spacewalker floating around.

“Idiot!” You shouted at him, and it seemed that the Griffin girl had the same thought, chastising him for his spacewalk. “Hey, don’t do that!” You yelled at two more people who were taking of their harnesses, the monitor cutting out, and suddenly the dropship lurched. 

The bodies collided with walls, and screams were heard, and you closed your eyes, contributing to the screams. Something was very wrong.

You refused to open your eyes as the sensation of falling continued, gripping the straps of the harness tightly, feeling the fabric digging into your skin. It finally stopped, your grip on the fabric loosening, and you took a shaky breath as you slowly opened your eyes, relief setting in. 

“Oh my fuck, we’re alive.” You muttered to yourself, in disbelief, so overjoyed that you were on the verge of tears.

“Listen. No machine hum.” You heard someone say, and it seemed that everyone was in the same state of disbelief.

“Whoa.”

“Holy shit.”

“That’s a first.”

There was a clicking noise, and you felt your restrains unlock, and you rushed to take them off, before jumping down through the center of the dropship, moving with the throng of people, eager to be free of a machine. You were also eager to get away from the bodies, not wanting to know if there were any casualties yet, which would put a damper on your mood.

You were stopped by a man who was definitely older than all of you, wearing a guard uniform, confusing you, because as far as you knew, you were supposed to be the oldest, a few days shy of 18.

“No! We can’t just open the doors.” Clarke yelled, and although you desperately yearned to see the outside, you knew that there was reason behind her words. There was no idea about what to expect, and suddenly your anxieties returned. 

“Bellamy?” A girl asked, and the crowd seemed to part as she made her way up to the man. You fought the urge to make a face, because it was a pretty strange name, but it paled in comparison to some other strange names. ~~like thelonius~~

You felt uncomfortable as they shared a hug, feeling as if you were interrupting an intimate moment, trying to place where you had seen the girl before, until it clicked. Octavia Blake, the girl underneath the floor. Which would mean that the man that had somehow wormed his way down here was her brother?

Your suspicions were confirmed as Octavia made a snide remark directed at Clarke, and suddenly whispers broke out, and this time you did not stop your eyes from rolling. People were so dense sometimes. 

“Hey shut up!” You yelled as people started to jeer at her as she surged forward, her brother restraining her. You locked eyes with him momentarily, and he gave you a slight nod, silently thanking you for standing up for her. 

His attention immediately shifted back towards his sister, urging her to calm down. “Let’s give them something else to remember you by.” He suggested.

“Yeah, like what?” She asked exasperated, rolling her eyes at her brother.

“Like being the first person on the ground in 100 years.” He said, beaming at her, and you felt upset at how long this was taking.

Bellamy opened the door, and you felt a pit drop in your stomach, feeling excitement seeping out of your body. Your heart caught in your throat, tears beginning to fall from your eyes, an onslaught of fragrant smells overtaking you. It was bright and green, you never thought there could be this much green. An excited laugh escaped your lips as you looked up, seeing the sun illuminate the ground, and you felt the way that people seemed feel when first experiencing snow, according to the books you had read and the movies you had watched.

A warm breeze enveloped your body, your hair fluttering slightly, as you closed your eyes in utter bliss, inhaling the fresh air, your ears tingling with the absence of the soft hum of machinery.

“We’re back, bitches!” A collective excited scream could be heard as everyone seemed to clamor out of the dropship. 

You let out an elated scream as you touched the ground, the moment feeling so surreal. You inhaled deeply, moving to touch a tree, so overwhelmed with the sensation of being on the ground that you nearly began crying again.

You nearly shrieked as you felt a tap on your shoulder, turning around speedily to find yourself face to face with Bellamy Blake. Your heart caught in your throat as you stood close to him, still not having quite recovered from the fright that he had caused when he tapped you. He looked at you oddly, as if trying to place you, and you rolled your eyes and stared back at him expectantly, waiting for whatever he was going to say. He took a hint, awkwardly clearing his throat, a smug smirk on his face.

“Thanks.” He said, his smirk shifting into a normal smile, and you immediately felt comfort and warmth radiate from him, causing you to smile in return. “For standing up for my sister.” He elaborated, extending his hand. “I’m Bellamy Blake.”

“(y/f/n).” You offered, shaking his hand. 

His smile morphed back into a smirk, and almost immediately you felt a change in his demeanor, gaining the urge to punch him, preferably in the face. “Well, have fun.” He drawled as he walked away from you, and you rolled your eyes, ignoring him.

You tried to take in the scenery as much as you could before you needed to return to the dropship to find exactly where the supplies had been stashed. And to make sure that no one else had found them before you did.

You saw Clarke and Spacewalker in the distance, holding a piece of paper, and you slowly made your way over to her, knowing that despite the mischievous nature of most of the kids, everyone would be exploring the ground rather than staying in the dropship.

“There a problem?” You asked, interrupting their conversation, and you were sure that Clarke shot you a grateful look. If you were her, you would’ve too; there was something about Spacewalker that rubbed you the wrong way. But you would have to deal with him seeing as you were all stuck down here for the foreseeable future.

“Yeah.” She answered, turning to you. “They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain.”

“Of fucking course they did.” You exclaimed, exasperated, your arms moving to enunciate your point.

“I know, right?” She asked, equally as exasperated, as the two of you made your way back to the dropship, not bothering to check if Spacewalker was going to follow.

“Need help reading the map?” You offered as you both settled down on the door of the dropship, huddled over the map, trying to offer help. Perhaps you would need to find those supplies sooner rather than later…

“No, I’m good. But thanks.”

You nodded in response, letting her know that it was no big deal. You were secretly glad that she had not asked for your help, seeing as how maps were never your strong suit.

You glanced around, seeing Wells coming over, a stoic look on his face, and decided that you would rather avoid whatever awkward conversation was about to ensue. “I’m gonna be right back, okay?” You let her know, walking towards the back of the drop ship, offering Wells a slight nod of acknowledgement as you passed him.

You saw a loose bit of metal paneling, and made your way over, looking around the are to make sure that there was no one around. As the area cleared, you pulled back the piece of metal slightly, revealing about 10 large wooden crates, which, from where you could see, looked relatively unharmed.

You released the bit of paneling, walking back to the front of the dropship once more, standing on the door which had become something of a ramp, to see many people starting to gather around. You were pretty sure that someone would try to fight Wells and while you were not a fan of his father, you liked him well enough; he was a good lab partner.

“We’re just trying to figure out where we are.” He explained to the hoard of boys led by one of your least favorite people, John Murphy.

“We’re on the ground. That not good enough for you?” Bellamy asked, and you rolled your eyes at him, jumping down to the ground from your place on the door.

“We need to find Mount Weather, dickweed.” You sassed.

“You heard my father’s message.” Wells began and you winced, knowing that that would just deter anyone from listening to him. “That has to be our first priority.”

“Screw your father.” Octavia snarled. “What, you think you’re in charge here? You and your little princess?” She snarled, motioning towards Clarke.

 _That_ bothered you.

“Hey bitch, I don’t like Jaha but I wanna fucking survive.” You scoffed, exasperated with the denseness of the people around you. “And that’s the best shot we’ve got, so calm the fuck down.”

“You think we care who’s in charge?” Clarke asked, almost as shocked as you. You rolled your eyes as she continued talking, knowing that the longer she talked the less her words would resonate with the group of delinquents.

“I’ve got a better idea.” Bellamy interjected, and the urge to punch him in the face returned. “You two go. Find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change.”

A chorus of agreement shot through the air, and your eyes widened at the stupidity of what they were doing. “Listen assholes, we need to go. There’s fucking shelter and food. How fucking dense are you!?” You shouted at them.

“Why don’t you go too, Miss Proper?” Bellamy suggested, your jaw clenching in anger, oblivious to the fight occurring behind you that you had promised to prevent.

“Maybe I will, Blake!” You yelled at him, his smug smirk making you even angrier.

You heard someone fall to the ground, and whipped around to see that it was obvious that Murphy had pushed Wells to the ground. Without thought, you charged towards Murphy, a pair of arms restraining you and you wriggled against the person.

You bit down on their arm as they moved to readjust their grip, hearing a momentary cry as the arm let go of you, surging forward prepared to fight Murphy, before Spacewalker jumped down from the top of dropship, effectively ending the fight.

“Kid’s got one leg.” He told Murphy, motioning to Wells. “How about you wait till it’s a fair fight?” He suggested calmly, and you gained a little respect for him.

“Hey Spacewalker. Rescue me next.” Octavia flirted, to which you rolled your eyes, your respect for him being squashed almost instantaneously as he shot back a flirty smile.

You lingered in the area as people dispersed, noticing Bellamy shoot his sister a dirty look, while shaking out his arm and then rubbing it, momentarily shooting you a dirty look.

“What? He’s cute.” She defended.

“He’s a criminal.” 

“Newsflash, Blake.” You interjected, the older Blake’s angry glare falling on you. “They’re all criminals. And considering you’re definitely an adult wearing a guard’s uniform with no wristband, you’re _definitely_ one too.” You continued, knowing that you had hit a sore spot when his jaw clenched angrily.

“You don’t know jack shit about me.” 

“Thank god for that.” You scoffed, walking past him to find Clarke, intent on helping her.

You saw her in the clearing, helping readjust Wells’ knee and in that brief moment, you returned to the back of the dropship, finding that no one had been there, everyone intent on exploring away from the dropship. Trusting that this excitement would last for a while, you headed over to Clarke to see a small group of people had already gathered, intent on helping her.

“Got room for one more?” You asked, although you were going to go anyways.

“Sounds like a party, better make it 6.” Octavia said cheerfully, making her way over towards the group. 

“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Bellamy asked, trying to keep his sister from leaving.

“Going for a walk.” She sassed.

“She’s a big girl, Blake. I’m sure she can take care of herself.” You said condescendingly, a fake smile forced across your lips, despite the anger in your eyes.

His glare focused on you, matching your own. “If anything happens to her, that’s on you.”

“Don’t worry, Blake. I bite.” You rolled your eyes, turning away from him, looking at the feud that Clarke and Spacewalker were having.

“I’m aware.” He muttered unintelligibly, and you were unsure of if you had even heard anything.

“This wristband transmits your vital signs to the Ark. Take it off and they’ll think you’re dead.” She informed, and from your peripheral you could see a change on Bellamy’s face, and it made you nervous.

You tapped him gently on the shoulder, motioning slightly with your head for him to follow you, moving a few feet away from the group. You were a bit surprised that he followed, shaking his head at you as if to ask what this was about.

“I’m not stupid, Blake.” You began, attempting to skip past whatever bullshit he had prepared. “Don’t try to take those wristbands off of people.”

“And why shouldn’t I, (y/l/n)?” He asked, stepping closer to you, trying to intimidate you.

Using the same tactic, you stepped forward, glaring into his eyes, his signature smug smirk back on his face. “Because I _will_ slit. Your. Throat.” You hissed menacingly.

His smirk seemed to become more smug, and he leaned down whispering next to your ear. “Kinky.” Before he stood up, returning to full height.

You rolled your eyes at him, throwing him the most fake smile you could muster, walking past him, punching him in the stomach while doing so, a smug smirk of your own appearing on your face as he doubled over, winded.

You walked over to the group which had graciously waited the extra fifteen seconds for you, offering an apologetic smile, lifting up one finger to signal that you needed another moment.

You walked over to Wells, bending down. “Can you keep an eye on Blake? I think he’s gonna try to take of people’s wristbands.” You warned, to which he offered a tight-lipped smile and a stiff nod.

You nodded back, silently thanking him, as you made your way over to the group, nodding slightly, signaling that you were ready to go.

You stayed in the front of the group walking with your childhood friends Jasper and Monty, whom you hadn’t really seen in the past year and a half due to jail. The three of you made small talk as you started your trek, before you naturally dispersed and you found yourself keeping stride with Spacewalker. It then occurred to you that you had no idea what his actual name was.

“So, who’re you, Spacewalker?” You asked, trying to start a friendly conversation, because if you were gonna be stuck with these people it would probably not be that bad to have some people you were friendly with. And with your strong opinions, that was often a very difficult feat.

“The name’s Finn.”

“I’m (y/n).”

“Yeah, I know. You’re quite famous in skyblock.” He says, which surprises you a little.

“Yeah, and you’re quite famous on the entire fucking Ark.”

“Yeah, well. I try.” He jokes, shrugging his shoulders, and you grin a little, even if it was pretty stupid. He had a sense of humour, at least that was something.

You fell into a comfortable silence, and you suddenly felt at ease with the group of people, even if you had yelled at Octavia and Finn about an hour earlier.

“Hey, thanks for standing up for me.” Clarke says to you, and you nod slightly, conveying that it was no problem.

“You were right. People are just stupid.”

“You stood up for Octavia too. On the dropship.” She elaborated.

You shrugged slightly. “Like I said, people are stupid.”

You continued walking, the people next to you changing somewhat erratically, having a pleasant conversation with all of them, or walking in silence. You tried to stay quiet as they started arguing a little.

The walk was pretty forgetful, until you came across a two headed deer which terrified you. Your hands shot up to cover your mouth from letting out a scream, your breathing heavy as you continued the trek, trying to shake the image from your mind.

“You good?” Jasper asked, to which you weakly nodded, though he and Monty knew you well enough not to press the subject.

“Why today?” Finn asked loudly. “Why send us down after 97 years? What changed?”

You were a bit baffled by the question, unsure of why you hadn’t thought to ask that, the gears in your head beginning to turn, trying to connect the dots about what was happening.

“Maybe they found an old satellite.” Monty suggested.

“It wasn’t a satellite.”

And suddenly it clicked.

“The Ark is dying.” Clarke said, confirming your suspicions.

“Shit.” You muttered to yourself as you realized what this meant.

“What?” Jasper asked, and you knew him well enough to hear a slight quiver in his voice indicating panic.

“With the current population level, there’s roughly three months left of life support, maybe 4 now that we’re gone.” Clarke explained.

“That’s what the locked you up for.” You realized, your words definitive.

“That’s why they floated your old man?” Finn asked.

“My father was the engineer who discovered the flaw. He thought people had a right to know. The council disagreed. My mother disagreed.”

“That’s why you made a deal about the wristbands?” You questioned, though you knew that the answer was yes. 

She nodded, and continued. “We were gonna go public anyways, but then Wells..” She trailed off.

“Turned your dad in?” Finn asked in disbelief.

You scoffed, shaking your head because there was no possible way in which that added up. “Dude, Wells did _not_ turn in your dad.” You said, knowing that it was probably not very tasteful, though your mouth often worked faster than your brain.

“That’s why today.” She explained.

After that you zoned out a bit, the information hitting you in what felt like waves, seeming surreal that that was the situation. Though the more you thought about it, the more it made more sense.

“Fuck.” You exclaimed shaking your head, emotion quivering in your voice.

“What is it?” Finn asked.

“My best friend,” You began, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat, “He’s still on the Ark.”

“We have to warn them.” Finn said, and suddenly you decided that you liked him, he seemed good enough.

“That’s what my dad said.” Clarke said, her eyebrows furrowing as she stared at him.

Your concentration was suddenly thrown towards Jasper who was leering at something, causing you to run up to him to see Octavia taking off her pants, and you rolled your eyes, groaning in exasperation.

“Octavia, put some damn clothes on.” You yelled at her, trying to keep your gaze from her body, feeling a bisexual disaster moment and immediately becoming uncomfortable as you did your best to look anywhere but on her.

“Octavia what the hell are you doing?” Clarke yelled at her, and you could almost feel the same nervous energy radiate off of her, though that was not the important part of the situation, because almost immediately Octavia ran forward and you heard a loud splash.

You immediately ran towards where she had jumped in, feeling a bit of relief when you saw her, because you knew that her brother truly would blame you, and you’d rather not deal with the annoyance that was Bellamy Blake.

“Get the fuck out of there before you drown.” You scolded, seeing the resemblance between her brother as a smug smirk appeared on her face.

“We can’t swim.” Jasper yelled.

“No, but we can stand.” She said smirking, standing up in the water, the level only reaching her midriff. 

“There’s not supposed to be a river here.” Clarke pointed out worriedly, alerting you that there was something wrong about this.

“Well there is, so take off your damn clothes.” Finn told her, and you could see her expression change from worried to elated, which caused your anxieties about Earth to return almost immediately.

“Octavia, get out of the damn water!” You screeched as you saw something shift around in the water.

She seemed rooted in place, the figure pulling her under the water, panic beginning to overtake your body. As her body resurfaced, in an moment of sheer terror, as all logic left your body, you grabbed a large-ish rock and hurtled it towards the figure, letting go of her nearly instantaneously. 

At nearly the same moment, the rest of them pushed in a boulder to distract the creature, and once again logic was thrown out the window as both you and Jasper jumped into the water, pulling Octavia back up to the shore.

“You good?” You asked, cupping her face, looking for any injuries other than the gash on her leg which Clarke was already binding, and Octavia nodded slightly, and you could see the fear lingering in her eyes. You moved away as she moved to hug Jasper, thanking him. 

Once Clarke had finished with her tourniquet, you turned to Octavia. “I’m taking you back.”

“No. We’re almost there.” She argued, to which you widened your eyes in shock, looking at her in disbelief.

“That thing almost took off your leg.” You argued.

“It’s gonna be dark soon.” Clarke commented. “We should stick together.” She suggested, and then you realized that staying together was probably the better option.

“Fine.” You conceded. “I’ll take first watch.”

 

“I was up all night thinking with a solution. Swinging across.” You told the others, waiting for opposition. When none came, you continued, “The vines are strong enough to hold us, I tried using them to climb up the trees.”

“Okay, sure.”

You all were able to set up the impromptu rope in about fifteen minutes, though you had been waiting for about ten for Finn to actually jump across.

“C’mon, Spacewalker.” You moaned in frustration, rolling your eyes.

“Quit stalling. Mount Weather awaits.” Clarke goaded.

“Dude, seriously how the fuck did you do a spacewalk and can’t do this?” You asked, baffled by how scared he seemed to be.

“Today, Finn.” Clarke sassed.

“Aye Aye, Captain.” He joked, and you rolled your eyes. 

You made a _what the fuck_ face as Jasper and Finn switched, knowing that he was trying to impress Octavia, causing you to roll your eyes even more.

“Hurry up!” You yelled at him, trying to be encouraging of your friend while trying to simultaneously hide your annoyance. 

He swung across and you cheered him on, all of you jumping up and down as he made it to the other side.

“We did it! Whoo!” You screamed in delight, jumping slightly, for the first time in awhile feeling like the seventeen year old you were. 

“We are apogee!” Jasper screamed in delight, earning a loud cheer from all of you.

Clarke stood up to the vine, and you offered her a big thumbs up, Jasper shouting encouragement from the other side of the river.

“We did it!” Jasper shouted, holding up a rusted sign that displayed that it was indeed Mount Weather. Almost immediately a spear was embedded in Jasper’s chest. 

“Jasper!” You yelled out, your first instinct to run towards your friend, though you were quickly pulled down by Finn and pulled behind a rock, hearing rustling in the trees, and suddenly you realized that the thing that did that was still out there.

“We’re not alone.” Clarke whispered, her voice quivering slightly.

You were rooted in your position, not sure about what had happened till you felt your arm being pulled and your body followed, your mind in a distant place. You didn’t realize that you had been running away, till you heard a scream in the distance that you recognized as Jasper, and immediately you ran in the direction of the scream, Octavia grabbing you and Finn grabbing Clarke, effectively restraining you guys as you looked through the leaves, to see that Jasper was no longer there.

“He was right there.” Finn said frantically.

“Where is he?” Monty asked and you could hear the fear in his voice.

“They took him.” Clarke said, and you agreed with that assessment.

“Fuck, this is why we should’ve gone back yesterday.” You said, your voice cracking, and you knew that no one was focusing on the words you were saying.

“We need to go back.” Finn said calmly, and if you weren’t so scared you would’ve found it funny that he was the voice of reason.

“But Jasper’s alive. For how much longer?” Monty spoke frantically, and you agreed with him nodding slightly, before all the anxieties that you had from before leaving resurfaced, and you took a deep breath, shutting your eyes tightly, before exhaling.

“Finn’s right. Octavia can’t walk and we’re gonna need back up.” You spoke, trying to keep your voice even, before it cracked slightly. “This is killing me to leave him too, but we have to.”

Without waiting for a response you began the trek back, you and Finn being used as crutches for Octavia. You walked fast, and you knew that it was hurting her, and you felt bad, but the time-frame that you had was a big concern.

As you neared the dropship you heard jeers, and with one glance at Octavia and Finn they both seemed to agree that it was fine for you to leave. You gave a small half-smile, before running to where the source of the noise was coming from, seeing Murphy and Wells about to fight, surging through the crowd to stop the fight, before Bellamy stepped in.

Your brain wasn’t working fast enough, because you stopped, feeling yourself calm down as the fight seemed to have been avoided, all alarms going off in your brain as you saw the glint of a knife in Bellamy’s hand as he handed it to Wells. You should’ve fucking expected this.

You ran down to them, crashing into Muprhy’s arm, your hands reaching for the knife, pulling it out of his hands, and purposefully twisting his wrist in the process as you glared at him, knowing that he had definitely provoked the fight.

He glared back at you, as you pushed him away from you, and he fell down, a look of pure hatred on his face. You turned to Wells and held out your hand, silently demanding that he hand you the knife.

He handed it to you, and you noticed that his wristband was missing, and immediately looked around noticing more people without wristbands, before turning on Bellamy, fire burning in your eyes.

“You selfish jackass!” You screamed at him, surging forward, holding one of the knives up to his throat. “I wasn’t fucking joking.” You warned, your voice menacingly low.

“(y/n), stop!” Clarke yelled, making her way into the clearing.

You growled lightly, but removed the knife from his throat, turning away from him, before instantly turning on your heel and punching him in the stomach to which he doubled over, earning a dirty glare from him as you both walked over to Clarke, dangerous anger radiating off of the both of you.

“Octavia, you all right?” Bellamy asked worriedly, his anger nearly dissipating, running towards his sister who was making her way to the clearing, her human crutch now Monty.

“How’s she?” You whispered to Monty as Bellamy took her from him, Monty shrugging her shoulders slightly, though looked relatively unworried, which reassured you a bit.

“I told you if anything happens to her, that’s on you.” Bellamy turned towards you angrily.

Octavia swatted him gently. “I’m alive because of (y/n), so don’t be an ass.” She chastised.

“Where’s the food?” He asked, as a general question to the group.

“We didn’t make it to Mount Weather.” Finn said, sitting down on a log.

“What the hell happened out there?” Bellamy demanded.

“We were attacked.” Clarke stated worriedly.

“Attacked? By what?” Wells asked.

“People.” You stated, your tone sounding as if that should have been obvious.

“Turns out that the last grounder that died on the Ark wasn’t the last of the grounders.” Finn stated.

“It’s true.” You reiterated.

“Everything we thought we knew about the ground was wrong.” Clarke stated, addressing all of the 100. “There are people here. The good new is, that means we can survive. Radiation won’t kill us.”

“Bad new is the grounders will.” Finn elaborated. 

“Where’s goggles kid?” Wells asked, and others began to look around, only now noticing that Jasper was missing. 

_“Jasper,”_ You enunciated, “Was taken by the grounders. We know he’s alive, but we need reinforcements and Octavia is in no condition to be moving around.” You stated, noticing Wells and Clarke having a small argument, ignoring them.

“Ask him.” Wells said, turning towards Bellamy, and then it suddenly clicked that they had jumped Wells.

“You little shit.” You seethed, turning towards Bellamy, not caring that Clarke was also interrogating him. 

“24 and counting.” You heard Murphy say, and once again the knife was placed against Bellamy’s throat.

“You idiots.” You and Clarke said in unison, you angry and she exasperated.

“Life support on the Ark is failing.” Clarke announced, her voice shaking. “That’s why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you’re not just killing them, you’re killing us!”

“You done with your monologue?” You asked, still glaring at Bellamy. “Can I slash his throat yet?” You asked, and Clarke threw you a dirty look, to which you rolled your eyes, and removed the knife, currently engaged in a staring contest with Bellamy.

“We’re stronger than you think.” He said, moving away from you, into the center of the clearing. “Don’t listen to her, she’s one of the privileged.”

“Then listen to me!” You shouted angrily, interrupting him. “I’m certainly not one of the privileged; I’ve been in skyblock for nearly two years. My entire family has been floated. That doesn’t mean I want everyone to die.”

“That wristband makes you a prisoner.” He spat. “We are not prisoners anymore!”

“I’d rather be a prisoner than dead. And, I’d rather be a prisoner then letting innocent people die.” You continued, attempting to reason with the other delinquents.

“They say they’ll forgive you for your crimes. I say you’re not criminals! You’re fighters. Survivors.” He said and received a few shouts of encouragement.

“God, how dense are you!?” You screamed at him. “We _are_ criminals, _that’s_ why we’re survivors.” You explained, exasperation seeping into your tone, which you knew would make you less reputable to the other kids.

“The grounders should be worried about us!” He yelled, ignoring you, and shouts of encouragement ensued. You growled lightly, rolling your eyes as you huffed, stalking past him, intentionally bumping into him with your shoulder.

You followed Clarke and Monty, the three of you readying to go back for Jasper. You were a little scared that too much time had been wasted, and you were partly to blame. You pushed the anger that Bellamy had invoked out of your mind, your sole focus becoming to find Jasper. You were _not_ going to lose another friend.

 

You quickly went around the back of the ship, slipping into the loose siding frantically going through the crates, trying to find things to carry that wouldn’t necessarily arouse suspicion. You shoved a bottle of pain relievers into your pocket, not sure as to what else would be needed. You hesitated as you came upon a crate labeled _weapons,_ and animatedly turned on your heel, ignoring the crate.

“What’s taking so long?” You yelled, as you reentered the dropship from the front, Monty looking as panicked as you felt.

“You came back for reinforcements, I’m gonna help.” Wells declared, in the middle of a conversation with Clarke.

“Clarke, he’s right. We need him.” Monty said, letting you know that you had walked in on some sort of best friend spat, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. 

“We need to go.” You urged, trying to break up the conversation. 

“Sorry, Monty, but you’re not going either.” Clarke ordered, ignoring you.

“Like hell I’m not! Jasper’s my best friend.” Monty exclaimed.

“You were raised by Farm Station and recruited by Engineering.” Clarke reasoned.

“So?”

“So, food and communication.” She said, pointing to his temple. “What’s up there is gonna save us all.”

“Monty.” You chimed in, gaining his attention. “She’s right. Our group priority is gaining contact with the Ark, so we need you to stay here and work on that.” You said heavily, knowing how much it was hurting Monty to have to hear this, and how hard it was for you to say. “I _promise_ you that we will get Jasper back.” You told him, your voice shaking with emotion.

“You ready, Spacewalker?” Clarke asked as Finn walked into the dropship.

“I’m not going anywhere and neither should you.” He said, and you rolled your eyes at him, walking past him, shoving your shoulder into his chest.

“Spacewalker, my ass.” You muttered, walking out of the dropship, looking around briefly before walking towards him, yelling out, “Blake!”

“You okay, Octavia?” You asked, as you walked forward, noticing him attempting to bandage her wound, gently tapping his shoulder. “Let me.” You offered softly, taking the rag from him, and cleaning out her wound, wincing as she hissed in pain.

“What the hell was it?” Bellamy asked, and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know.” Octavia admitted. 

“I looked kinda like a giant snake.” You offered, ripping a piece off from the bottom of your shirt to use as a tourniquet, glad that survival had been one of your best classes. Even if you didn’t like Pike.

“You could’ve been killed.” He commented, a scowl on his face.

“She would’ve been if Jasper and (y/n) didn’t jump in and save her.” Clarke said as she walked towards you three, Wells behind her.

“You guys leaving?” Octavia asked, motioning to stand up. “I’m coming too.”

“Whoa, no, no.” Both you and Bellamy said, pushing her gently to sit back down.

“No way. Not again.” Bellamy reiterated.

“They’re right. Your leg is just gonna slow us down.” She said to Octavia, before turning to Bellamy. “We’re here for you.”

“Oh yeah, Miss Proper came by earlier yelling at me.” He said, motioning over towards you, and you rolled your eyes, offering Octavia a small smile before making your way over to stand next to Clarke. “What about?”

“I hear you have a gun.” Clarke said, and he slightly lifted up his shirt exposing the gun.

“Good, follow me.” You said, motioning with your head.

“And why would I do that?” He questioned, and you scoffed, shaking your head.

“Because you want _them_ to follow you.” Clarke whispered with a shadow of a smirk on her face feeling incredibly attracted to her, motioning at the other kids who were milling around. “And right now, they only think one of us is scared.”

You could see the gears turning in his head, and you scoffed slightly, beginning to walk with Clarke knowing that he would follow. “Good job!” You whisper yelled at her, discreetly high-fiving each other.

“Thanks! You were pretty great too.” She whisper yelled back, a smirk on both of your faces. 

“Ugh, Murphy’s coming too.” You groaned out, as you looked behind you, noticing him with Bellamy.

“They’re not just bullies, they’re dangerous criminals.” Wells commented, worry evident in his voice.

“I’m counting on it.” Clarke responded as the three of you picked up your pace.

“They’re gonna try something.” You stated, as you turned back once more, an uneasy feeling setting in your stomach as you saw smirks on both of their faces, unfortunately out of earshot to hear what they were talking about. “Fucking let them.” You muttered, dangerously gripping the knife that you had not returned, before turning back to Clarke and Wells.

“Stay sharp.” You reminded them. “The grounders aren’t our only threat.” You said, warning about the two that were following.

The three of you picked up the pace again, blood pounding loudly in your ears as you became more and more scared that you would find a dead Jasper, or worse, that you wouldn’t find Jasper. You started jogging a bit, trying to urge the group on. 

“Hey, hold up.” Bellamy yelled, and you ignored him, continuing to walk faster. “What’s the rush?”

You stopped instantly, hands forming fists, your jaw clenching as you turned on your heel to face him, fire burning in your eyes. “We’re going to save Jasper.” You said, attempting to keep your voice even, though malice seeped into your tone.

“You don’t survive a spear to the heart.” He said nonchalantly, waving the gun around making you slightly nervous. You didn’t like guns, and you certainly didn’t trust Bellamy, which made you more uncomfortable about the entire situation, but you were here for your friend. 

“Put the gun away, Bellamy.” Wells chastised, and suddenly Murphy was on him, gripping his jacket.

“Why don’t you do something about it, huh?” He taunted, and it took all your willpower to keep you rooted in your spot, not wanting to escalate the situation, knowing that you were losing focus of the mission.

“Jasper screamed when they moved him.” Clarke said snidely, and you could see the anger in her face, though she was doing a good job of maintaining calm, and you took a deep breath, reasoning that if she could remain calm, so could you. “If the spear struck his heart, he would’ve died instantly. It doesn’t mean we have time to waste.” She said, moving to turn away.

Bellamy grabbed her wrist, offering a snide smile. “Once you take off this wristband, we can go.”

She yanked her hand away from him, glaring at him. “The only way the Ark is gonna think I’m dead is if I’m dead. Got it?” She said seriously.

“Brave princess.” He joked with a smirk on his face that made you uncomfortable, even if it wasn’t directed towards you, feeling as if you were prey and he were a predator.

“You’re despicable.” You spat at him.

“Why don’t you find your own nickname?” Finn asked, annoyed, walking towards the group, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“Glad you made it, Spacewalker.” You sassed, before turning on your heel, and continuing to speed walk through the forest, leaving them behind, not wanting to waste anymore time. 

You glanced behind you and saw that Finn and Clarke had broke off from the rest of them, and you definitely did not trust Murphy and Bellamy to be alone with Wells, so you lingered for a few moments, allowing them to catch up.

“Aw, miss me?” Murphy asked smugly, as you fell into pace with him.

“I don’t trust you.” You said bluntly, gripping the knife tightly in your hand, making sure that he saw it to deter him from trying anything.

“I’m hurt.” He sarcastically muttered back, and you rolled your eyes at him.

You continued walking in silence, not looking at him, though keeping him in your peripheral.

“You not gonna talk?” He asked.

“No.” You replied curtly, walking a little faster, knowing that he would nearly instantly fall back into pace with you. “Hurry up.” You chastised, despite the fact that he caught up.

You continued to walk, and after about a half hour you became frustrated with the silence, letting out a cry of frustration.

“Why’re you such an asshole?” You asked, breaking the silence.

“I thought we weren’t talking.” Murphy replied snidely, and you clenched your jaw angrily.

“Shut up and answer the goddamn question.” You seethed.

“My dad was floated when I was really young. My mom died of alcohol poisoning.” He offered, and you couldn’t help the scoff that escaped you.

“We all have our sob stories. Didn’t make all of us assholes.” You told him, knowing that it was a dick move, but feeling the need to say it.

“You act as if you’re not one.”

“I may be one, but I don’t blame my shitty childhood. I blame the shitty government.”

“Guess that’s one thing we have in common.” He scoffed, and you stopped, turning to face him.

“We have _absolutely_ nothing in common.” You said, your words very deliberate.

“Whatever you say.” He conceded, and you both continued to walk in complete silence, picking up the pace. 

“Hey guys!” You heard in the distance, turning to see Clarke running towards you, oddly soaking wet. “We’re close, c’mon.” She said, before turning around, beginning to disappear in the trees. Instantly, you followed her, running behind her, not bothering to check behind you to see if Murphy was following.

The six of you met up at the edge of a creek, and you saw Finn motioning with his head, and it was then that you noticed the amount of blood that was on the rocks, and you felt sick. That was too much blood that was lost, and it would be a miracle if someone could bleed that much and survive.

“We need to hurry.” You pestered, fear seeping into your voice, and you were sure that you looked as afraid as you felt, and even though in your right mind you would hate looking so vulnerable in front of people you blatantly didn’t trust, you were far too preoccupied worrying about Jasper.

“How do we know we’re going the right way?” Murphy asked.

“We don’t.” Bellamy answered, and even though you knew that you didn’t believe him, his words made you more anxious. “Spacewalker thinks he’s a tracker.” He said condescendingly, which didn’t reassure your nerves one bit.

“It’s called, ‘cutting sign.’ Fourth year Earth Skills. He’s good.” Wells said, and you instantly felt some relief, throwing Bellamy a dirty look, unsure and uncaring of if he saw it. 

“Shut up, we don’t know where the grounders are.” You whisper yelled at them, and they instantly shut up, as you paused while Finn and Clarke bent down, examining something.

You perked up as you heard a distant sound, holding up a finger as a way of telling the others to be quiet, before hearing it again and deciphering it as a sound of pain. “Jasper!” You realized, immediately running towards the sound, not caring that you were running through bushes which were scratching you. You winced as the skin on your hand got caught on a thorn, though you didn’t stop, just continuing towards the sound.

Your breath caught in your throat, your hand moving to cover your mouth as you looked on in horror to see Jasper crucified, being strung up on a large dead tree with sticks surrounding it, acting as a barrier.

“Jasper?” You called out as you immediately surged forward, all reason flying out the window, the only important thing was getting Jasper down safely. You let out a scream as you felt the ground disappear from under you, two arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you back into their chest, and you looked down to see that a pit had formed, spikes coming out of the ground. “Thank you.” You muttered to the person, turning your head slightly, to see that it was Bellamy, and you offered a meek half smile, and he nodded slightly at you.

“You okay?” Finn asked, and you nodded slightly, despite the fact that you were rattled, the realization that you had almost died, hitting you and rendering you stunned.

Jasper’s moans pulled you out of your thoughts, reminding you of the mission, pushing out any fears. You needed to focus on Jasper. You moved away from the others, who were in brief conversation, hearing their voices but ignoring them as you started to climb up the tree, taking the knife from your pocket in preparation to begin cutting down the vines to let him down.

“Maybe what they’re trying to catch is us.” You heard Finn say, and that scared you enough to break your conversation for a split second, your grip on tree failing as you fell down onto the roots of the tree, feeling a sharp pain in your leg, your entire body hurting as you felt the brunt of the fall.

“(y/n)!” Someone yelled out, your head throbbing too much to be able to decipher the voice, as you moved to stand up, gathering a grip on the tree, offering a weak smile.

“‘m good.” You whispered hoarsely, your voice sounding warped, though not caring enough to be alarmed, beginning to climb back up the tree, this time perching in the little groove above Jasper, offering him a weak smile. “Hey, we’re here. It’s all good.” You whispered to him as you began to cut through the ropes that were binding his hands as Finn and Murphy worked on cutting down the others.

You groaned lightly, bringing your hand up to your head, rubbing softly, slightly alarmed when you felt something wet and warm, bringing your fingers in front of your face to see them soaked in red. You instantly told yourself that it was just Jasper’s blood, even though it did nothing to reassure you.

You heard a deep growling and looked up, the rope nearly cut through, thinking you must have imagined it.

“What the hell was that?” Murphy asked, and suddenly all alarms went off in your brain, and you looked forward, seeing the grass shift in the distance. 

“Hurry up!” You yelled at the others, moving to cut the rope faster. “It’s coming!” You screeched, as the panther moved towards you.

“Bellamy, gun!” You and Clarke both screamed in unison, as you cut the last strand of the rope, moving forward to grip Jasper’s arms to keep him from falling forward, in your peripheral seeing Bellamy fumble for his gun, and it then hit you that this was how you die.

In a tree, holding up your dying friend surrounded by people you didn’t know and didn’t trust, with a possible leg and head injury, about to be eaten by a giant ~~(?)~~ panther.

A gunshot rang through the air, your head swiveling to see Wells shooting it, as it rounded the corner, getting dangerously close to the group.

“Can’t hold him much longer.” You muttered through gritted teeth to Murphy and Finn, feeling your arms beginning to give out and your center of gravity moving dangerously close to the edge of the ledge. 

“One more minute.” Finn assured, and you nodded, keeping your head up, scanning the surrounding area, seeing the grass rustling.

“There!” You screamed, pointing as best as you could in the direction. 

You saw them all looking around confused, trying to gauge where the panther was, the growling stopping which terrified you, as you looked around, realizing that you had lost where it was.

“Bellamy!” You screeched as if jumped through the air towards him, another gunshot ringing through the air, the panther falling dead a few feet before Bellamy, and you felt yourself relax a bit, relief setting in, the adrenaline wearing off, and suddenly you felt your body aching, your leg throbbing in pain.

“Now she sees you.” He said, and you were completely confused, the feeling of lightheadedness returning, yours arms threatening to give out.

You took a shallow breath, wincing, shutting your eyes in pain. “How much longer?” You asked, your voice hoarse.

“You can let go.” Finn told you, and you did so immediately, taking a moment to catch you breath as Finn and Murphy carried Jasper down to the rest of the group, setting him in between Finn and Wells to use as human crutches while Clarke, Bellamy, and Murphy moved the panther corpse onto the piece of parachute that Wells had brought.

You closed your eyes briefly, resting your head on the tree, before taking another shallow breath which caused your chest to ache, and you wondered if you bruised your ribs, before trying to climb down the tree, letting out a slight screech as your body screamed in pain as you moved.

“Hurry up (y/l/n).” Bellamy yelled at you, and you locked eyes with him and you saw his entire expression change, unsure if there was something about you that caused his hard look to soften slightly. He moved closer to the base of the tree, and you suddenly felt a little better, as if you weren’t so alone.

“What’s the holdup?” Murphy demanded, and you glanced at Bellamy and you knew that he could see the fear in your eyes, letting out a sigh.

“We’ll catch up.” He yelled out to the others, and they already started walking away, before he looked back up at you. 

“I can’t move.” You admitted weakly, your entire body aching more and more.

“Can you schooch to the edge?” He asked, and you could see the exasperation on his face. “I’ll catch you, I promise.” He said, no hint of sarcasm or malice in his voice, and you knew that he was being completely genuine.

You nodded, moving to the edge, wincing in pain at the slight movement. You took a deep breath, and closed your eyes, before pushing yourself off of the tree, your eyes completely closed, hearing a small ‘oomph’ as you landed in his arms, slowly opening your eyes, face to face with his chest.

“Thank you.” You said as he gently placed your feet on the ground, standing completely.

“You’re bleeding.” He pointed out, motioning towards your left leg, a large gash across your calf, and you winced, though shrugged your shoulders.

“I’ll be fine.” You said, as you began to ~~walk~~ limp after the rest of the group, him following you. “Besides, we have to focus on Jasper.”

He huffed slightly, and you were about to turn to look at him, before you felt your feet leave the ground, a noise of surprise and embarrassment escaping you.

“What are you doing?” You asked frantically, feeling rather uncomfortable that in the span of five minutes that he had carried you bridal-style twice.

“You’re walking too slow to catch up with the group.” He spoke gruffly, and you let out an indignant huff. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.” He continued, and you glared at him.

“I’m not stubborn.” You said stubbornly, knowing that what he was saying was true, though not wanting to acknowledge it.

“Right.” He said sarcastically, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Thank you, really.” You said softly, attempting to change the topic. “You’re not so bad, Blake.” You said, a small smirk on your face.

He laughed slightly, and you could see him roll his eyes, an amused smirk on his face. “High praise indeed.”

“Look, there they are.” You motioned ahead, seeing the rest of the group in the small clearing ahead. “I can walk.” You assured him, and he rolled his eyes, his grip on you tightening as he walked faster to catch up with the group.

You gained an odd look from them as you caught up, though it didn’t really bother you. Relief set in as you saw that Jasper was alive, even if barely, and for the first time since landing on Earth, you felt nearly all of your anxieties melt away.

“Clarke.” He commanded. “Can you let (y/l/n) lean on you?” He asked, though it didn’t seem like it was a request.

“I can walk.” You insisted, pushing yourself out of his arms, and moving to grip the side of the tarp that Clarke was holding and continuing to walk forward, despite the sharp pain you felt with every step. “C’mon.” You encouraged, walking forward, the piece of cloth being ripped from your hands.

“Hey!” You shouted indignantly at Bellamy, looking annoyed by your antics, and you rolled your eyes, beginning to walk, till Clarke wrapped your arm around her shoulder, allowing you to take some weight off of your leg.You offered her a small sympathetic smile, thanking her for allowing you to use her as a crutch, to which she just laughed.

You did your best to keep from wincing the entire trek back to camp, despite the fact that every step seemed to hurt like hell. At some point, you became used to the pain, nearly at the edge of camp, till you let go of Clarke urging her to walk ahead to focus on Jasper, who was the priority.

You were a few hundred feet from the makeshift camp when you heard ecstatic cheers and realized that Bellamy and Murphy must’ve showed the other kids the panther, and as you walked into camp, you almost immediately smelled burning wood, and saw a small fire.

You saw Bellamy jogging up to you, and before you could object, he picked you up once more and carried you over to the place where he had been sitting in the morning, bandaging his sister’s leg.

“This might sting, sorry.” He muttered apologetically, placing a wet rag against the gash, cleaning it out, and when he pulled it away you realized that despite its length, it wasn’t very deep. 

“Keep this on it, I’ll be right back.” He said, placing your hand on the cloth that was on the gash, applying pressure to it. You waited impatiently for about five minutes before he came back with another rag, before using that to wrap around your leg. 

“Thanks.” You said simply, and he offered you a small smile before leaving you alone, and you finally felt yourself relax. You sat there for about twenty minutes as they cooked the panther, before you saw Clarke and Finn exit the dropship as you slowly stood up and limped over to them.

“How’s Jasper?” You asked, and Clarke nodded, and you felt a wave of relief wash over you.

“He’s stable for now, but without medicine…” She trailed off, and you nodded solemnly in understanding. “I wanna take a look at your leg.” She informed you, and you waved it off.

“Later, you need to rest, Clarke.” You insisted, before you turned to see the long line of people that had accumulated, and saw that they were only getting meat if they took of their wristband, and suddenly your mood became foul. “That’s disgusting.” You commented, wrinkling your nose, seeing them both nod in agreement. 

“No way, I. I won’t do it.” Clarke spluttered.

“You won’t have to.” Finn said, sauntering over and taking a piece of meat, making some quip as Murphy tried to stop him, and you smirked, and Clarke walked over to him, and you decided to leave them alone.

Your stomach growled, and it reminded you just how hungry you were, taking a piece of meat, and before Murphy could stop you, “Whatever the hell we want, right?” You scoffed, before walking away, feeling someone looking at you, to see that Bellamy was shooting you a dirty look, and you rolled your eyes, moving to find a semi-secluded place to eat.

As you were about to begin eating, you heard a small whimper and looked around and saw a small boy who must’ve been twelve or thirteen, and you stood up and limped over to him, wincing slightly as you sat down next to him.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, anger brewing inside of you that they had arrested this small kid, silently cursing the Ark. 

“I can’t get food. They want to take off my wristband, but I want my mom to know that I’m alive.” He whimpered, and without second thought you handed the piece of meat to him.

“That mentality is gonna keep you alive, okay?” You reassured him, smiling softly as he began to eat. “I’m trying to stay alive to see my best friend.” You admitted. “And next time they try to refuse you food, comet to me and let me know who I need to punch, okay?” You said, and you saw him laugh, a smile appearing on your face. “I’m (y/n).”

“Jack.” He said, and you offered him a smile. 

“Well, good night, Jack.” You said, as you stood up and moved closer to the throng of people sitting back down where you had when Bellamy was patching you up.

You began to doze off, feeling someone sit next to you, and you opened your eyes, seeing Bellamy. “How’s your leg?” He asked, and you could hear a difference in his tone, rolling your eyes at him and his obvious power-hungry agenda.

“It’s been better.” You admitted flatly, sighing deeply before standing up. “I need to talk to you and Clarke.” You admitted, and he looked at you blankly.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” He said as he stood up, and in a minute he had returned with Clarke.

“What do you need?” Clarke asked, and you sighed deeply before standing up, motioning with your head.

“Follow me.” You instructed, leading them around the back of the dropship, where you pulled back the loose piece of sheet metal, revealing the crates to them.”

“What is this?” Bellamy asked, turning to you.

“I’m a smuggler.” You explained briefly, releasing the piece of metal, letting it fall back into place.

“I want to make this clear now, I’m showing this to you two because, Bellamy, for better of for worse - often worse - people listen to you, and Clarke, I trust your common sense.” You paused, turning towards Bellamy. “These supplies are for everyone regardless of if they join your little crusade by taking their wristbands off. And that is why, I will be distributing them.” You explained, glaring at him.

“Fine.” He said gruffly, and you knew in the immediate future you would face far more resistance.

“What’s in there?” Clarke asked, and you could hear annoyance in her voice, knowing that she was disappointed in you for not letting you know sooner.

“There are 10 crates, um, one is full of clothes, another has blankets, one is half pads and tampons and half condoms, and one is like hygiene products. One is medicine.” You told her. “That’s the smallest one though, it’s really hard to steal from the medicine cabinet.” You warned her. “And that’s the only thing that we _really_ have to ration, along with food.” You explained, and she nodded in understanding.

“Do you have weapons?” Bellamy asked, and you sighed deeply.

“Yes, and no. There is nothing that can be explosive or damaging to the ship, so we don’t have any guns or shock batons.” You said. “It’s a hundred-year-old ship, there’s no guarantee that something won’t go wrong, and it obviously has.” You explained further, laughing bitterly.

“What about food?” Clarke asked.

“Food is normally what they notice go missing first, so I really wasn’t able to get much. There’s about two hundred packs of instant ramen, so that’s only two meals per person.” You explained.

“Why did you wait to tell us?” Bellamy demanded, and you let out an exasperated huff.

“Because I didn’t trust you.” You told him.

“So you do trust me?” He asked cockily. 

“No.” You answered honestly. “But, it’s how we’re gonna survive.”


	2. earth s(k)ills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as (y/n) and bellamy continue to clash heads, an easy-ish yet strained bond forms between them. surviving just became a lot more difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based off of The 100 episode Earth Kills (1x03).

“So, how much medicine can we use?” Clarke asked, and your hand went to your pocket, fishing out the bottle of painkillers, tossing it over to her. She rattled it, trying to gain a feel for how full it was, before popping the lid open, seeing that the seal was still on.

“One bottle of five hundred.” You said, watching as she examined the bottle. “It’s just acetaminophen.” You informed, as she popped the lid back on, tossing the bottle back to you. You caught it with one hand and placed it on top of the medicine crate, leaning against the crate in a way that you weren’t sitting but were nearly sitting. “And it’s all I could get.” 

You stood up, lifting the crate with some difficulty, even if there wasn’t a necessarily large amount of medicine for a hundred people, it was still relatively heavy. You plopped the crate down in front of her and Bellamy, opening it, to reveal that there were a few complete first aid kids, a stack of reusable bandages, and, the few stitching supplies you were able to get.

You saw two very different looks flash over both of their faces, despite the same impressed look. Clarke was a bit in awe, though also looked very anxious, whereas Bellamy looked both angry and impressed.

“Where the hell did you get this?” He demanded, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You know about Nygel?” You asked, a cocky smirk on your face as they both nodded. “I’m way better than her.” You said, not wanting to explain how and where, knowing that what you said would mean more anyways.

Clarke stayed silent, and in your peripheral you saw her expression become more worried, and she open her mouth as if to begin to speak, before closing it, repeating that several times.

“It’s not enough, right?” You asked, so that she wouldn’t have to say it, to which a sad smile creeped onto her face as she nodded stiffly.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have this, it’s just…” She trailed off.

“Not a lot.” You said, nodding in understanding, despite the pit settling in your stomach, a lingering sense that you could’ve gotten more, despite knowing that you couldn’t have.

“So, which crate we gonna take out first?” Bellamy asked, and you could hear the annoyance in his voice, boredom seeping into his tone.

“Tents would probably be most logical.” You said, moving over to the largest crate, picking up one end as Bellamy picked up the other, both of you struggling to move the heavy crate.

You breathily thanked Clarke as she opened the siding for the both of you, grunting as you maneuvered the large crate. You felt the weight of the crate lighten, looking over to see that Wells and Finn had both grabbed a side of the crate. The four of you set it down in front of the dropship, making a relatively loud noise, displacing some dirt.

You coughed as some dust went up your nose, squinting to avoid getting dust in your eyes fanning in front of your face to sort of clear out the air. The loud bang seemed to have attracted the rest of the hundred, all looking at the crate in awe, before looking between the four who had set down the crate.

You sighed deeply, still fanning the air in front of you, before addressing them, never really one for giving speeches. “There are fifty tents in this crate, they’re pretty small but we’re gonna have to make do. One tent for every two people, got it?” You asked, trying not to seem condescending, and people seemed to collectively nod.

“There’s some more stuff.” You continued loudly and quickly, not going to let Bellamy speak because otherwise he would do what he had been doing with the meat. The thought left a rotten taste in your mouth. “Soap, clothes, blankets. Everybody will get some, if they want to keep their band on or not!” You yelled, shooting a dirty glare at Bellamy. “We’re gonna bring out the other things, but for now choose a partner and get a tent.” You instructed.

You moved over to Wells and Finn, talking to them lowly. “You guys distribute them, I’ll keep an eye on Bellamy.” You told them, and it seems that you looked determined enough for them not to argue.

“Blake! Atom!” You yelled to them. “You’re with me.” You said, turning around and beginning to walk back to pick up more crates, wincing momentarily as you felt a sharp pain in your leg, feeling your calf begin to throb. 

You continued on, grabbing the next biggest crate with the other two lifting up their sides with relative ease, and you held up your side slightly lower than theirs, trying to hide your slight limp as you brought the crate, filled with blankets, back to the front.

This continued for about an hour, till nearly the whole camp had gotten their personal supplies: one toothbrush, two bars of soap, three vats of communal shampoo and conditioner, one towel, one blanket, one spare set of clothes and a tent to share with someone else.

You let out a slight groan as you helped a girl who had volunteered to carry crates, Zoe Monroe, load the large crate filled with feminine hygiene products and condoms into the front of the dropship, Bellamy following, carrying the first aid crate.

You let out a small huff as you dropped the wooden crate on the ground, smiling softly and thanking Monroe as she left, before sitting down on the crate, grateful to be off of your leg.

You closed your eyes in relief, hearing a few brief whispers, before feeling a hand on your leg, your eyes shooting open, your reflex to kick the person away. “What are you doing?” You screeched at Clarke, feeling a bit bad that you had nearly kicked her, but still frightened.

“I’m checking your leg.” She said firmly, looking down at you with a look that dared you to disagree. You stayed quiet as she bent down in front of you, before clearing her throat awkwardly. “You’re gonna have to take off your pants.” She said, and you smiled awkwardly, before standing up and taking off your pants, holding them against your chest, feeling far too exposed.

You felt her unravel the bandage, and you hissed as the fresh air came in contact with the wound.

“You can move your leg around fine, yeah?” She asked.

You nodded in response, scratching the back of your head. “It just hurts, mostly from exhaustion.” You told her, and she nodded.

“It doesn’t look that deep, so stitches are unnecessary.” She told you while cleaning out the wound, and you nodded.

“That’s kind of what I figured.” You told her, and she offered you a small smile.

“So, try to keep off of it, and come see me every few days for it.” She informed you, applying a layer of gauze on the wound before tightly wrapping the bandage around the cut.

“Thanks.” You said softly, gently putting your bandaged leg through your pants, moving to stand up only when you needed to shimmy your pants over your hips, buttoning them and doing the zipper really quickly.

“No problem. I should go check on Jasper, though.” She said, moving to go back upstairs to where Jasper was, before gripping her shoulder.

“No, Clarke. You need to get some rest.” You told her, trying to convince her into getting a few hours of sleep. “I’ll sit by Jasper and if there’s trouble, I’ll wake you up immediately, how’s that?” You suggested, though you made it clear that that is what was going to happen.

“Sure.” She simply said, climbing up the ladder in the center of the dropship. “But, I’m gonna sleep up here.” She yelled down from the ladder.

“Fair enough.” You decided, hobbling over to the ladder, before realizing that you were screwed. You just shrugged your shoulders, and began the climb up the six-rung ladder, gritting your teeth the entire way up, feeling sharp pains shooting through your leg, before you reached the top, your feet dangling in the trap door and you figured that was good enough.

You smiled softly when you realized that Clarke was already asleep, and you looked around to see Monty and Octavia sitting next to Jasper, both asleep, your smile widening a little as you felt your heart melt a little bit, filled with an overpowering love for your friends, even if you had just truly met Clarke and Octavia. 

You scooted over to the general area where Jasper was, leaning your back against the wall of the dropship, sitting in the silence for the next few hours, trying to ignore the worries you had about Jasper and Dave.

It was quiet for awhile; Octavia had woken up and quietly excused herself. About an hour after she had left, you heard whimpers and looked over to see Jasper writhing in pain, every alarm in your head going off.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You whispered, scooching closer to him, running your hand over your face, trying to soothe him, becoming alarmed at how hot his skin felt.

“Clarke!” You whisper yelled, standing up and limping across the room as fast as you could, feeling bad that you had to wake her up, though Jasper was slowly growing louder and louder. “Clarke!” You whispered loudly, shaking her slightly, seeing her eyes open, a startled look on her face.

You had an apologetic smile on your face, before Jasper started moaning in pain again, and you saw her face eyes widen, before she rushed over to Jasper, and began soothing him. You limped over, sitting down on the other side of him, moving to hold his hand. “His fever’s too high.” You commented, and she nodded in agreement, silently reassuring you that you had done right in waking her up. You gently brought his hand up to your lips, gently kissing his hand, trying to soothe him, though it was more for your own peace of mind than his.

You looked up and saw that Monty had awaken, and had crawled to the other side of the room, and you saw the guilt instantly flash in his eyes, looking over at Jasper. He stood up and moved towards you, gently sitting down next to you, gripping lightly at Jasper’s wrist, offering a small sad smile directed towards Jasper, whispering quietly to him that he was going to be fine. You felt your heart break; you didn’t want to see your friends so hurt.

At some point as Jasper grew louder, Monty moved back to where he was before, grief and guilt overtaking him as he looked over every so often, a look of shame across his face. You smiled sympathetically at him, understanding in your eyes.

“His pulse is 380.” Clarke whispered, and you felt your own heart beat increase at hearing that. Your heart was caught in your throat, knowing that having such a high pulse was really, really bad.

“Shut the fuck up!” “Go back to sleep!” People yelled as Jasper continued to whimper in pain, and you felt anger overtaking you, angry unshed tears burning in your eyes.

“Sh, don’t listen to them.” Both you and Clarke reassured softly, as you gently squeezed on his hand to reassure him that you were there.

“You’re gonna make it through this, I promise.” Clarke said, and you looked over at her, seeing that she avoided eye contact with you, and you knew then that at this moment, his chances were looking slim. 

“Can he just die already?” Someone from below yelled, and you inhaled shakily, the tears falling from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks, as you stubbornly wiped them away with the back of your hand. 

“Don’t listen to them.” You murmured to him, gently carding your fingers through his hair with your other hand, and you were unsure if he had calmed down a little, seeming a little more peaceful.

“I’m gonna get clean water.” Clarke announced, and you could hear the anger, exhaustion, and, exasperation in her tone. “Keep an eye on him.” She commanded, and Monty moved over to sit where she had, immediately grabbing hold of Jasper’s hand, his gaze deliberately avoiding yours.

You looked over at him, closing your eyes momentarily as Jasper groaned loudly, feeling more tears threatening to fall. You opened your eyes, whispering softly to Jasper, as he calmed down a little more. “It’s not your fault.” You said softly, this time directing your words towards Monty.

He sighed deeply, and you looked over at him to see him on the verge of tears, his lower lip trembling. “Yes it is.” He whispered out croakily.

“Hey.” You whispered, moving your hand from Jasper’s and placed it over Monty’s squeezing a little. “It’s not.” You reassured gently. “You caused this is no way.” You continued, your eyes filling with tears.

He smiled at you sadly, and you knew that he wouldn’t believe you, so you instead squeezed his hand once more, leaning over to gently kiss him on the cheek, before standing up. “I’m gonna go see where Clarke went.” You told him, wanting to give Monty some space, limping to the trap door, before hobbling down the ladder, wincing as sharp pains shot through your calf.

“Whoa, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You heard someone demand, and turned to face Bellamy. 

“Finding Clarke.” You said tiredly, trying to discreetly wipe the unshed tears away by pretending to rub your eyes, before putting your finger up to your lip to signal for him to be quieter, pointing upstairs to remind him that Jasper was up there.

“Not on that leg.” He said, almost scoffing, and you rolled your eyes, limping out of the dropship, ignoring him, scanning the area for Clarke. “Were you trying to climb up the ladder?” He asked, and you could hear a hint of scolding in his voice.

“No, I was climbing down it.” You replied, not really thinking about what you were saying, feeling his annoyance with you grow, waving him off, before you heard a scream that definitely did not come from Jasper, and you dashed off in the direction of it, despite Bellamy shouting at you to not run, and the pain it caused. 

You found the source very quickly, seeing Clarke talking to a twelve year old girl, and instantly you found yourself mad at the shitty government. You walked over, and saw that Clarke was holding the water, her arm around the younger girl.

She saw you, and smiled slightly, before turning to the other girl. “Hey, Charlotte. My good friend (y/n) here will sit with ya? How does that sound?” She asked, and you waved slightly to the little girl, a small smile on your face.

She nodded carefully, regarding you with slightly scared eyes. “Okay.” She said, her voice meek, and Clarke stood up, running for the dropship as you moved to sit next to the girl, letting out an ‘oomph’ as you hit the ground a bit harder than expected.

“Charlotte’s a really pretty name.” You told her, and you immediately saw her worry vanish, a small smile spreading carefully across her face, a guard still up.

“So’s (y/n).” She said, returning your compliment, causing a smile to appear across your face, and her face finally relaxed, her body loosing, her posture becoming slightly more relaxed.

“So, you had a nightmare, huh?” You asked, keeping your tone light, and you saw her nod. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked, and she moved a little closer to you, resting her head slightly on your shoulder.

“I already told Clarke.” She admitted.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” You told her, and she offered you a grateful smile. 

“Jack told me about you.” She said, changing the subject. “He said that you’re really nice and you stand up for people.” She said, causing you to laugh a little.

“Some would argue about the nice part.” You quipped, and you saw her genuinely smile a little, warming your heart. 

She took a deep breath, and your expression changed to worried as she began to cry silently, and you immediately wrapped your arms around her, allowing her to sob into you. You gently whispered to her, kissing the top of her head, trying your best to comfort the twelve year old, though ultimately felt ast an impasse.

She stopped crying for a little bit, and you loosened your grip on her, allowing her to pull away from you. You gently wiped away her tears, offering her a sad smile, taking her hand and squeezing lightly.

“What’s wrong?” You asked softly, and you saw a few more tears fall from her eyes, a small hiccup wracking her body.

“I have nightmares about my parents. They got floated, and, and…” She blubbered, before crying again, silent sobs wracking her body, and you wrapped your arms around her, feeling your heart break.

“I understand.” You whispered to her. “My parents were floated when I was about six.” You admitted, your bottom lip trembling as you tried to keep from crying, not for your parents but rather for hers. “Actually, I was probably younger.” You said, as you thought about it. “I wasn’t old enough to grasp the concept of death.”

“Was it hard?” She asked, her voice trembling, looking up at you with tear stained cheeks.

You shrugged slightly, a sad sympathetic smile on your face. “I was too young to actually remember my parents.” You said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she leaned into you. “You’re strong, Charlotte.” You whispered to her.

“You get some rest, yeah?” You murmured, as she nodded sleepily, already dozing off. “I’m gonna stay here, don’t worry.” You whispered, as she fell asleep.

“Thank you.” She murmured, before soft snores emitted from her body, and you kissed the top of her head, before falling asleep yourself.

—

You awoke to see that Charlotte had gotten up already, and you smiled lightly. You moved to stand up, your legs buckling under you as your weight shifted. You inhaled deeply, placing your hands behind you on the tree trunk for support, as you slowly lifted yourself up, limping towards the center of the camp to find that everyone had seemingly fell back into a consistent rhythm.

You looked around, doing a quick mental check, alarms going off in your head as you noticed that two people were missing. “Where the hell is Trina and Pascal?” You asked rather loudly, to which people didn’t really seem to care.

“Atom’s leading a search party for them.” Bellamy called out to you, engaged in conversation with Murphy a few feet from the tree you had been sleeping at, before glancing down at your leg and then up at your face. “Why the hell are you walking?”

“You and Atom okay, then?” You asked, ignoring his second question, knowing that something had happened between the two of them because Atom made out with Octavia? You were unsure and didn’t really care.

He just nodded briefly, trowing an ax at a tree, embedding itself in the bark, as Atom and the others strutted up. “We searched a half mile, all directions. No sign of Trina or Pascal.” Atom said.

“Why didn’t you search more?” You demanded, worry seeping into your tone, although logically you understood why they didn’t.

“Visit your special tree when you were out there?” Murphy drawled, confusing you slightly, and you saw a look of shame flit across Atom’s face, realization hitting you, your body shaking with anger, though you tried to contain in, settling for physically vibrating where you stood.

“Atom took his punishment. Let it go.” Bellamy ordered Murphy, and that was a bit too much. You turned on your heel to face him, glaring dangerously at him, your hand in fists, shaking by your sides, your jaw clenched in anger.

“What the hell did you do!?” You spat at him, and he you gasped, appalled, when he half rolled his eyes.

“Could be grounders.” Atom suggested, effectively interrupting you, and you turned away from Bellamy, considering elbowing him in the stomach, though decided not to, to try and remain at least a little bit civil.

“Yeah, or they could just be in pound town.” Murphy droned, and you felt yourself beginning to shake with anger once more as Atom looked away from Murphy. “Lot of that going around recently.” Murphy continued, both you and Bellamy both shooting him a dirty look, Bellamy walking up to the tree, retrieving his ax.

You saw Atom glance over, away from the small group, and your gaze followed his, settling on Octavia. It seemed that she noticed you as she gave a small wave which you returned, Atom effectively ignoring her, as he turned away to face the older Blake sibling.

“Look, Bellamy.” He began, as you hobbled over the three or so feet to be a little closer. “People are scared, and that dying kid. He’s not helping the morale around here.”

You took in a shaky breath, anger flooding through your system, before you felt yourself overflowing, immediately yelling at Atom, your arms flailing around dangerously to emphasize your point. “That, dying kid,” you spat out, feeling your nails digging dangerously into the palms of your hands, “saved Octavia’s life. That, dying kid, is my friend, so why don’t you shut the fuck up!” You yelled at him, so angry that tears began to fall from your eyes, knowing that your argument had derailed, but it didn’t matter. Nobody was going to trash your friends. Not even another friend.

You lips quivered, hot, angry tears burning in your eyes at you glared at him, feeling a reassuring hand on your shoulder, and almost immediately you didn’t feel angry. You looked over your shoulder briefly, and saw Bellamy standing there, a rather stoic look on his face, though as he made brief eye contact with you, his face softened ever so slightly, and immediately you felt your anger melt away, only left with a pit in your stomach, the nausea that tends to follow your angry outbursts. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, and immediately noticed the regret in Atom’s eyes, which made you feel a bit ashamed for your outburst.

“Morale will go up when I find them more food.” Bellamy said quickly after your outburst, his response a bit pointed, as he gently removing his hand from your shoulder. 

“What do we say when they ask about Trina and Pascal?” A kid asked, and you were a bit embarrassed that you did not remember his name. 

“They’re probably lost.” You said surely, trying to reassure yourself that the were probably lost, despite the gut feeling that something was wrong.

“Now? Nothing.” Bellamy said gruffly. “(y/l/n)’s right, they’re probably lost.” He said, reiterating your point. “Keep an eye out for them when we go hunting later.” He said, and you took that as your cue to leave the little group, hobbling back towards the dropship, not noticing that Bellamy and Murphy had lingered behind. 

You sighed as you entered the dropship, staring up at the little ladder, closing your eyes tightly. And before all of your confidence abandoned you, you started up the ladder, gritting your teeth as pain shot up your left leg. You hissed slightly as you managed to get to the top of the ladder, sitting in the trapdoor for a moment, before pulling your legs up onto the second level, as you limped over to where Jasper was, immediately grabbing his hand.

“The medicine working?” You asked Clarke who was hovering over Jasper, cleaning out his wounds, a perplexed look on her face.

She just shook her head sadly. The perplexed look returned, as the inspected the poultice (you think that’s what she had called it), before speaking. “The grounders cauterized the wound. Saved his life.”

“Couldn’t you use that for medicine?” You suggested.

“Saved his life so they could string him up for live bait.” You did a double take as you heard Finn’s voice, not realizing that he had been up there, your sole focus being Jasper.

“This is infected. It could be septic.” Clarke said, ignoring the both of you, turning frantically towards Monty. “Any progress on using the wristbands to contact the Ark?” 

You tuned out momentarily, your face scrunching up as you tried to keep yourself from crying, and you felt a reassuring hand resting on top of yours, your eyes jolting open to see Wells giving you a sad, sympathetic smile.

You responded with a sad teary smile, as he let go, and you discreetly tried to wipe the unshed tears from your eyes, before standing up and hobbling over towards Monty, tuning out of whatever menial spat Wells and Clarke were having, sitting on the floor next to his chair, immediately grabbing his hand, squeezing gently.

He turned towards you, and you immediately saw the distraught in his eyes, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “It wasn’t your fault.” You reassured, though from the broken look in his eyes, you knew he didn’t believe that. You didn’t really blame him; had you been him, you wouldn’t have believed you either.

“Alright, you wanna help? Hold him down.” Clarke commanded, and you immediately knew that whatever happened next, you would not be able to stomach.

“Hey, I’m gonna go help with hunting.” You said shakily, though no one was really hunting, and you gently squeezed Monty’s hand before hissing in pain as you jumped down the rungs of the ladder, trying to put as much distance between yourself and reality as you could.

You panted slightly as you reached the bottom of the ladder, looking over to see Atom sitting near the foot of the ladder. You didn’t really pay much attention to him, as you hobbled over to the miscellaneous crate, overlooking a small box in your zeal to leave, pulling out a spool of twine. You looked over and saw that Octavia had entered the dropship, and you immediately began to move faster, wanting to avoid whatever their conversation was about, as it seemed a bit personal.

You exited the dropship as Jasper bellowed in pain, your hands moving to cover your ears to keep from listening to the cries of your friend, biting down on your lip to keep from screaming out in anguish, as tears fell from your eyes. You felt your heart breaking for your friend, and you closed your eyes, trying to shut it out, as Octavia rushed past you into the dropship, confusing you a bit because you had just seen her inside of it.

The scream stopped, and it remained eerily calm for a second, your stomach dropping in fear that the worst had happened, but as you heard another groan of pain, you felt your pulse begin to regulate. You took a painful step away from the dropship, your bottom lip quivering as tears pooled in your eyes, each step you took away from the dropship -from Jasper- becoming harder and harder.

You closed your eyes briefly, taking a shaky breath, before you hobbled out of camp, pushing your anxiety deep down, your sole focus having to be finding a meal for everyone.

—

You had been walking for about an hour, before you finally stopped, leaning on a tree to rest for a brief second, before scoping the area slightly. It was at the top of a slight hill, the bottom secluded with some rocks which would make a good vantage point, as you pulled out the twine, setting two traps; one which would be better for catching small creatures and one better for catching larger ones.

You took out your knife, and quickly jabbed the tree, wincing as you did so, you didn’t want to hurt the tree giving you a marker as the where the trap was. True, these traps were really only practical with someone waiting nearby, because if the animal had too much time they would most likely be able to free themselves. But it was more important, you decided, to set up multiple traps so that the odds of catching something would be a little higher. 

You meandered around for a few more minutes, before walking limping towards a different section of the forest, which was a little closer to the camp, though in a place that was far enough away that animals wouldn’t be scared away. 

You set up a trap, and looked around, seeing a good perch a few yards away, before you sat down, wincing slightly as you did so, your leg throbbing in pain. It slowly ebbed away the longer you sat, and you glanced down at your watch, and saw that only ten minutes had passed before you stood up, hearing the oinking of a warthog, as you creeped closer to it, seeing it head in the direction of your trap.

You looked around, and saw a head of hair moving around in the tall ferns, a hand shooting up to cover your mouth, unsure of if it was a group from camp or grounders. They shifted forward, and you saw Bellamy’s face, and you relaxed a bit, slowly moving forward in the ferns towards the pig, hoping that it would walk into the trap.

A tree branch snapped from behind you, and you saw an ax fly through the air, and you ran in the direction the ax had been thrown, ignoring the pig that was running away.

“Charlotte!” You cried out, as you saw the ax embedded in the tree next to her, a small smile spread across her face as you wrapped your arms around her, enveloping her tightly in your arms. 

You heard a sigh from behind you. “Oh great, you’re here too.” Bellamy mumbled, and you let go of Charlotte, and turned around to see Bellamy’s eyes closed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, before he sighed once more.

“I’m not little.” Charlotte said, letting you know that you had walked in on the middle of some conversation, and you slowly moved away, heading in the direction in which the pig had went, letting them continue their conversation.

“I’m not done with you, (y/l/n)!” Bellamy yelled out, after you.

“That’s great, Blake!” You sassed, waving your hand at him, not bothering to turn around. You ignored him, purposefully veering off of the path from where the pig had gone, because you had left camp to be away from people. If you were going to be around people, you’d rather it be around people you liked. And you didn’t like Bellamy and his little posse.

You had been wandering for about 10 minutes, when you came upon a little clearing, and set up another trap, when you heard a bellow in the distance, and you looked up from where you had been squatting, seeing a large plume of yellow fog, and you felt your feet rooted in place.

You saw Bellamy running towards you, grabbing Charlotte, before you felt your wrist being yanked, as he pulled you with them. You ran with them, faster than you could painlessly, a slight whimper escaping you as the pain spread throughout your leg, feeling as if your calf was on fire.

He motioned for you and Charlotte to climb up the small little hill, and he gently pushed her into the cave. You lingered in the mouth of the cave, seeing Bellamy look around frantically, hearing someone scream his name, though the fog was now surrounding him, and you grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside of the cave.

You both walked speedily, reaching the end of the cave where Charlotte was, and saw her sitting on some rocks, and as you looked at her you saw the exhaustion settle on her face.

“You should get some rest.” You told her, as you sat down next to Bellamy. “We don’t know how long we’re gonna be here.”

That seemed to do the trick, because after about five minutes she got comfortable and was almost immediately asleep, you and Bellamy sitting down, your heart beating rapidly, exhaustion settling into your limbs.

You took a deep breath as you laid you head back against the wall of the cave, closing your eyes briefly, before opening them to see Bellamy’s angry gaze on you.

“What?” You asked, not in the mood for whatever he had to say. 

“What the hell were you doing?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes slightly. 

“I was setting up traps.” You said, and he looked at you blankly. “You know, for hunting?” You said condescendingly.

His face lit up with realization, before he shook his head, scoffing slightly. “We didn’t think of that.” He admitted quietly.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. “Of course you didn’t. You never think about anything.” You said, your exasperation seeping into your light tone.

“You’re one to talk.” He quipped, and you glared at him, as if daring him to continue. “You’re not supposed to be walking around on your leg.” He scolded, motioning towards your leg.

“Clarke said it was fine.” You lied, trying to keep yourself from wincing as the pain in your leg started to throb a bit more.

He gave you a look, rolling his eyes. “No she didn’t.”

“Yes she did.” You said, a fake smile pulled across your face as your face scrunched up.

“No she didn’t because she told me that you weren’t allowed to be on your leg. Also, you should elevate your leg.” He said, and you were a bit flabbergasted, at a loss for words. When had they had this conversation? What? Why? They had talked about you?

Your mouth was slightly agape, a look of disgusted confusion on your face, as you sat there, trying to piece together what to say. He sighed deeply in exasperation, and gently gripped your leg, pulling it slightly so that it was draped across his legs, your hips touching, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“What are you doing?” You said frantically, your voice high and squeaky, feeling a bit uncomfortable being so close to someone.

“Elevating your leg.” He replied, as if it were obvious.

You stared at him in confusion for a few seconds, before shaking your head returning to his previous question. “Clarke said that I should avoid being on my leg.” You corrected, and he snorted slightly, and you could practically hear him roll his eyes.

“So then why’d your stubborn ass not listen to her?” He asked, and you stared at him, in slightly disbelief, scoffing while shaking your head.

“You’re one to talk, Blake.” You said, and he laughed slightly, shaking his head.

“I’m not the one with an injury.” He reminded you, and you shrugged your shoulders, laughing bitterly, the tone of the conversation changing.

“Bellamy.” You began, and he chose not to comment on the fact that this was the first time you had said his name as opposed to Blake other than the time you had screeched because you though a giant panther was gonna kill him, and he decided that he quite liked the way his name sounded on your lips, sounding far more natural than Blake. “We’re trapped down here.” You said, your voice slightly shaky. “We have no idea how to survive, and literally everything is killing us. Forget the grounders for a moment, we still don’t know how to survive. If I stay off my leg, I’m a sitting duck.” You said, laughing bitterly, feeling tears prickling at your eyes.

“Yeah, but you just slow everyone down with your leg.” He said rather callously, and immediately regretted it as you sniffled slightly, trying to suppress the tears that were threatening to fall. 

“Bellamy, I’m not even eighteen.” You said, your voice cracking. “I don’t want to die.” Your voice quivered, and you brought your hands up to your eyes, wiping away the unshed tears, a small teary laugh escaping your mouth. 

He sighed deeply, regret etched onto his features, and he subconsciously moved to drape his arm over your shoulders, but instantly stopped himself, resulting in his arm jerking slightly. He closed his eyes momentarily, before changing the subject. “Does your leg hurt?” He asked carefully, not letting his worry seep into his tone.

You instantly nodded, not realizing exactly how much it was hurting, feeling a much more acute sense of pain now that it had been mentioned. “There’s not really much I can do.” You told him, trying to focus on something other than the pain.

“Yeah, I’m sor-”

“Sorry.” You interrupted him, teeth gritted through the pain. “Can we talk about something else? Talking about this makes my leg hurt more.” You told him, indirectly indicating that you needed a distraction. 

His eyes widened briefly, before he nodded awkwardly, a bit mechanically. He cleared his throat, slightly. “Did you get any sleep last night?” He asked.

“Yeah, like two hours.” You said shrugging slightly, exhaustion seeping into your very being, as the last of the adrenaline wore off, trying to fight off the exhaustion. 

“You should rest.” He commented, and you scoffed rolling your eyes.

“I’m not tired.” You say stubbornly, stifling a yawn immediately after saying it, your eyelids becoming heavier as you shivered slightly, a sharp cold wind seeming to pierce through you. 

He scoffed, and cocked an eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’ before shaking his head slightly, and amused smirk on his face.

“You should rest, too.” You told him, and you glanced at your watch, seeing that you had only been stuck in the cave for 15 minutes. “How much sleep did you get last night?” You asked pointedly, because given the fact that you had seen him up at around 4 in the morning was an indicator that he got about the same amount of sleep as you.

“About the same.” He answered gruffly, reaffirming your suspicions, before continuing to ask you another question, not liking when the focus was on him. “Why did you only get two hours of sleep?”

You shook your head in thought. “Um, I was up watching Jasper so that Clarke could get some sleep. I had to wake up Clarke and then she went to get water, so after a few minutes I went to find her.”

“When you were climbing down the ladder?” He interrupted, anger seeping into his tone, his jaw clenched, and you felt yourself get angry.

“Yes, and I don’t see what the big problem is.” You said arrogantly, enunciating every word. You scoffed slightly and rolled your eyes. You didn’t understand why he was making a big deal about it, after all you were the one with the bad leg.

He laughed bitterly, staring up at the ceiling of the cave, shaking his head slightly. “You are impossible.” He muttered out.

You stared at him in disgust, your mouth agape, as an appalled gasp left you. “Excuse me!?” You demanded, as if daring him to repeat what he said. Your anger usually had an impact on people.

He just rolled his eyes, and you felt more offended. “When did you actually sleep?” He asked, ignoring your outburst, and you were so shocked that you stared at him blankly for a few minutes, no witty retort popping into your brain.

He sighed deeply, his expression changing, his brown eyes melting. “You should rest.” He repeated, though this time his voice was soft, his eyes tender, and you felt your heart catch in your throat as realization hit you.

Bellamy Blake was gorgeous.

Sure, he might be a self-centered, power-hungry jackass, but damn if he wasn’t pretty. Did good genes just run in the Blake family? 

You blinked out of your momentary stupor, shaking your head as if to shake the thought away from your head, not going to let him catch you staring at him. You leaned your head back against the wall of the cave, looking up, a small sigh escaping your lips, before sitting up again. “I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.” You admitted.

He looked at you oddly, a soft smirk on his face, waiting patiently for you to elaborate. “And why’s that?” He asked, when you didn’t, his voice rumbling deeply.

You scoffed slightly, shaking your head, because you weren’t sure if you were being ridiculous or not. “I can’t sleep when I’m cold.” You said to him, biting on your lip to keep from yourself from laughing at your ridiculousness.

A small smile appeared on his face, a small snort escaping him, and you felt his smile to be infectious, your face morphing into a small, genuine smile, giggling slightly.

“It was colder last night.” Bellamy pointed out, and you shrugged your shoulders, an exaggerated confused look on your face.

You motioned with your head over to Charlotte, who was sleeping rather peacefully. “She kind of used me as a human pillow.” You said.

Almost immediately, Bellamy wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, and you could feel the body heat radiating off of him, your body feeling more relaxed despite the panic that you were having.

“What are you doing?” You hissed at him, your eyes frantic, the tips of your ears burning, and your cheeks began to warm up. Too much touch made you feel uncomfortable, and you felt your anxiety begin to bubble over, a lump forming in your throat, internally yelling at yourself that this was not something to freak out about, especially since you always craved touch. Overall, you felt as if you weren’t in control, which made you feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety.

“Relax.” He said gruffly, unaware of the momentary inner turmoil you were experiencing. “Body heat.” He said simply, gently bringing you closer to him, careful so as not to disrupt your leg, still on top of his. His hand gently moved up to the side of your head, gently nudging you, so that your head rested upon his right shoulder, your anxiety instantly melting away as you felt heat radiate off of him, embracing you softly.

You breathing evened, your eyelids growing heavier, his steady heartbeat lulling you to sleep even faster. His shoulder slouched slightly, and his head rested gently atop of yours, and you could feel his breath tickle your forehead, your eyesight growing misty as sleep came closer.

“Bellamy?” You asked, your eyes closed, on the brink of sleep, voice soft and hoarse, scared that if you spoke too loud you might disrupt the peace that was slowly accumulating.

“Hmm.” He hummed in response, his chest reverberating as he did so, causing you to smile subconsciously.

“Good night.” You muttered, nearly incohesively, before you drifted to sleep.

“Good night, Miss Proper.” He muttered out, a soft smile on his face, having said it too late for you to hear.

— 

You awoke to a scream, jolting up, immediately noticing that your position had shifted. Somehow you and Bellamy had ended up lying down next to the boulder which Charlotte was sleeping on, one of his arms under your neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, one of your arms slung over his chest, his other hand resting gently on your stomach. Your left leg was still precariously draped over his, though twisted at an angle which allowed you to cuddle into him.

You both immediately untangled your limbs from one another, shooting up into sitting positions, him shaking Charlotte awake as she still thrashed in her sleep, and you instinctively reached for her hand, squeezing lightly as she woke up, fear apparent on her face.

“I’m sorry.” She said almost instinctively, a look of guilt etched onto her face.

You and Bellamy shot each other momentary glances of concern, the same look of worry and sympathy on your faces.

“Does it happen often?” He asked gently, still kneeling in front of her, as you moved to sit next to her on the boulder, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and she melted into you.

She sighed deeply, and you breathed out shakily, trying to keep your emotions in check for her sake. Getting angry or emotional wouldn’t help in this situation.

“What are you scared of?” He asked, and she looked away from him, trying to keep from looking at him and you, and instantly you knew the shame she felt. When she didn’t answer, he continued, “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” He said, and you felt angry.

You shot him a dirty look because why the hell would he try to invalidate her fear? He seemed to ignore you or not notice you, because he continued, “The only thing that matters is what you do about it.” He said, a small sympathetic smile on his face, and your angry look softened, a sad sympathetic look replacing it, feeling a bit ashamed at your lack of faith in him.

“But…I’m asleep?” Charlotte asked, despite it being a statement, confusion lacing her voice.

“Fears are fears.” Bellamy told her, his face soft and genuine, unlike the raging hothead with the clenched jaw and anger lines that you always saw. You much decided that you liked this Bellamy better.

“Slay your demons when you’re awake, they won’t be there to get you when you sleep.” He said, gently tapping her leg. The amount of wisdom in his words scarily surprised you. You winced silently, the angle you were sitting on hurting your leg.

“Yeah, but how?” Charlotte asked, while you slowly moved off of the rock, sitting so that you were leaning against it, your leg screaming in momentary pain at the sudden shift, but it ultimately subsided, and you moved your hand up again to grip Charlotte’s and she sent you a soft grateful smile, squeezing your hand gently. 

“You can’t afford to be weak.” Bellamy said, and although you hated the sentiment of telling her that she couldn’t be weak, you also knew that it was necessary, which is why you couldn’t afford to rest your leg. “Down here, weakness is death. Fear is death.” He said, and she stared at him blankly. 

“Think about it like this, my leg is injured.” You began, trying to explain a bit to Charlotte, while also trying to get Bellamy to truly understand his own words. “There’s nothing I can do about it, but continue on. If I don’t do that, and try to rest, I’ll be dead, like that.” You said, snapping your fingers, and it seemed that you didn’t reach her, but your words reached Bellamy, his face hardened, and you could see an angry glare in his eyes. But somehow you understood that it wasn’t directed towards you.

“Let me see that knife I gave you.” He said, his eyes softening, and she carefully took it out, and handed it to him. “Now when you feel afraid,” He continued. “You hold tight to that knife and you say, ‘Screw you. I’m not afraid.’” He said, as she gingerly took the knife back from him.

You sighed to yourself, knowing that that wasn’t the wisdom that you wanted to impart on children, but what you wanted wasn’t an option anymore. You would need to shove away some of your opinions if you were going to be able to survive.

“Screw you, I’m not afraid.” Charlotte echoed with her eyes shut, her voice monotone. She opened her eyes to be met with an amused look on both Bellamy’s and your face, before she closed her eyes momentarily, beginning again. 

“Screw you, I’m not afraid.” She said again, with a little more conviction in her voice, staring at Bellamy, and you glanced over and saw a proud smirk on his face, and suddenly you felt a pit in your stomach; this poor child, none of you in fact, should have to have that mentality, or have to say that to themselves. You turned away, nausea consuming you as you laid back down where you were before, shivering from the lack of body heat. 

“Slay your demons, kid.” Bellamy told her. “Then you’ll be able to sleep.” He said, before lying down next to you, his body inches from yours.

You were able to sense his presence, and shook your head slightly, trying to keep your teeth from chattering as you heard a sigh from next to you, as Bellamy slowly scooched closer to you, heat radiating off of his body.

“What are you doing?” You asked, your teeth chattering slightly, and you could practically hear him roll his eyes.

“God, you’re impossible, (y/l/n).” He muttered, and you just scoffed, turning around to face him, a look of disbelief on your face, unsure of how to answer that statement.

You paused as you searched his face, a look of amused frustration gracing his features. You propped your elbow in the dirt, using your hand to prop up your head, tilted slightly as you looked at him, an amused confusion spread across your face, your lips slightly parted, despite your small smirk.

He rolled his eyes, the amused smirk still present on his face, patting his right shoulder, and without thinking you rested your head there, subconsciously nuzzling into him, the warmth overtaking your body. 

You both lied there, relaxed for a few minutes, and you nearly felt all of your worries melt away. If you had thought about it a little bit more, you would’ve been a bit more concerned, because how could you have fallen into such an easy intimacy with someone you hate?

You were pulled from the moment as Charlotte shivered, seeming to jar you back into reality. You sat up, feeling your cheeks begin to warm, pressing your lips into a thin line, avoiding glancing at Bellamy.

“Charlotte.” You called out, and she glanced over at you. You threw her a small smile, before scooching slightly to your left, patting the now empty space between you and Bellamy, offering it to her.

She nodded enthusiastically and crawled over to the two of you, settling into the space, throwing you both a grateful smile. You returned it, slowly combing your fingers through her hair in a soothing motion, pressing a kiss to her hairline, while Bellamy hugged her gently.

She slowly dozed off in the center of you two, and you continued your small motions, smiling sadly at her, feeling tears prick at your eyes. You felt Bellamy’s gaze on you, before you looked over at him, worry apparent in his eyes.

“It’s my fault.” You explained hoarsely, your voice prickly with the anticipation of tears. 

“Hey,” He said, moving his hand to rest on yours, squeezing gently. “It’s not your fault.”

You smiled sadly at him, shaking your head, because you knew that that wasn’t true. “It actually is my fault.” You said, shaking your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips, before you looked back at him, your voice more even, though still whispering. “Do you remember when there was like a five or six year old that was arrested?”

His eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought, his lips parted slightly, before he remembered, his eyes widening momentarily. “Yeah, that was about, um, 12 years ago, right?” He asked, his face scrunching up as he tried to remember if he got the details correctly.

“Yeah.” You reassured breathily, exhaling before shaking your head, a sad smile on your face. “That was me.” You told him, and his eyes widened in shock as he stared at you, trying to possibly formulate what that meant.

“Shit.” Was all he could say, a sad look of sympathy on his face.

“Yeah.” You agreed, laughing slightly. “Um,” You started, unsure of whether he was the right person to share this story with, but it didn’t really matter; you had already started. “So, my parents were floated when I was either five or six.” You began.

“You don’t remember how old you were?” He asked, his question genuine, not laced with any hints of sarcasm or malice.

You just shook your head while shrugging your shoulders. “I don’t really know.” You admitted, though it was a bit hard for you. Who the hell doesn’t remember when there parents died? “I… I, was too young to understand death.” You stammered, talking about this still a bit difficult for you.

“So, I was about five or six, when they came for my parents. Um, the guards.” You clarified, and he nodded slightly in understanding. “I had no idea what the fuck was going on.” You admitted, laughing sadly. “So, I attacked a guard, and basically, they arrested me, but I was also somehow able to go see my parents get floated?” You said, a bit confused. You shrugged, and shook your head slightly. “I don’t know, I don’t really remember the details. It was a long time ago.” You said, hoping that your lack of an explanation made a little bit of sense.

“I still don’t get how Charlotte being down here is your fault.” Bellamy said, and a hollow laugh escaped your lips as you looked around hopelessly.

“Well, that was when Marcus was first appointed to the council.”

“Hold up, Marcus?” He asked while laughing, a look of bewilderment on his face, confused as to why you were referring to Kane by his first name.

“Yeah.” You nodded, your tone slightly condescending, though you wore an amused smirk. “Vice Chancellor Marcus Kane.” You said, speaking to him as if he were a child, and he just rolled his eyes the shadow of a smirk apparent on his face.

“Anyways, he thought the claim was ridiculous and fought for me not to be arrested.” You told him, going back to your story. “He ended up winning, and then they instated the ‘law,’” you said with finger quotes, “that children under the age of 10 cannot be arrested.”

When he said nothing, you just shrugged your shoulders, the feeling of hopelessness returning. “So, it really is my fault.” You explained, your voice softer than before, though your voice cracked with emotion, anger and shame seeping into your tone.

“It’s not.” Bellamy said, finally. He reached over and gently squeezed your hand to reassure you. “It’s the shitty government’s fault.”

“Yeah, but I could’ve pushed for it to be older.” You blubbered, trying to reason with him that it was truly your fault. Because nothing would ever change your mind that it wasn’t.

“You were six!” He exclaimed, flabbergasted. “And your parents had just died.” He said, shaking his head as he laughed hollowly, and you wondered why he would be so upset about this because it didn’t involve him. “It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.” He said, and instantly any warm or fuzzy feeling you had for him flew out the window.

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you.” You commented, your voice stony, a look of pity morphing into disgust on your face.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He asked, his face hardening, no longer the soft Bellamy from moments before.

You just scoffed at him, shaking your head in disbelief. “You tell me, Blake.” You rolled your eyes, anger and disappointment seeping into your tone. “You’re hiding something, and you’ve been hiding it the entire time.” You accused, and you saw his jaw clench, a clear indicator that you were correct.

“You’ve got no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.” He hissed at you.

“I don’t?” You asked haughtily. “Because, you’re a twenty-three-year-old adult on the ground with a bunch of teenagers. You’re a jackass, and you want to stay in power, and for you, that means that all communication with the Ark is severed.” You said, laying out all the facts. “So yeah, you’re hiding something, and the rest of us are gonna die because of your selfishness, Blake.” You accused, rolling your eyes, feeling too disgusted to look at him.

He stayed quiet for a moment, and it confirmed your suspicions, feeling like a hollow victory. You heard him take a deep sigh, before speaking. “Octavia’s all I’ve got.” He whispered, his voice shaking, and you felt compelled to look back at him, seeing tears pricking at his eyes, his mouth slightly agape, his bottom lip quivering slightly.

He looked lost, a hopeless expression on his face, and he shrugged slightly, not looking you in the face. “My mom was floated last year. Never knew my dad.” He said briefly, though his comment seemed to reflect that he didn’t care much for his father, even if you assumed that he only knew very little.

“My entire life ended last year. My mom was floated and Octavia was arrested, and I was demoted to janitor. I can’t let my sister die.” He said, his voice trembling, and your reached for his hand, gently squeezing as he had done minutes before.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, and he just laughed bitterly, shrugging his shoulders.

“Nobody really understands, because they don’t have siblings.” He said, and you realized that that was true. “I love her so much.”

“I get it.” You said, sympathizing with him. You smiled slightly at him, taking a moment to catch your breath, trying to push away the lump which had formed in your throat. “I don’t have an actual sibling, but I was raised to have one.” You said briefly.

He threw you a quizzical look, and you took a shallow breath, a small smile appearing on your face. “I always say that I’m lucky.” You began.

He looked at you oddly, as if all your statements confused him. He seemed as if he was trying to piece it together, though in the end he looked a bit more confused than he had before. “But you’ve been an orphan all your life.” He commented, and you just shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t actually really remember my parents. But, I always say that I’m luck because I was raised by three wonderful humans.” You said, your smile growing wider as you remembered them. “So, the parents of my best friend, and Marcus.” You elaborated.

He snorted, looking at you, his eyes widening with amusement. “Kane rose you?” He asked, a tone of disbelief in his voice. “He’s a dick, though.” He said, and you laughed brightly, shaking your head slightly.

“He is now. But, he wasn’t a while ago.” You agreed, the smile from your face fading slightly as you remembered the man he was now. You sighed slightly, and shrugged your shoulders, “He’s a different person now. He was really kind, but I guess working so long for the government changed him.” You said sadly, feeling a bit hollow as you remembered the change in him.

“But anyway, my best friend’s parents raised me, and I think of him as a brother. I mean we did everything together, and we got into stupid fights about stupid things and he would push my buttons and there were days where I yelled and scolded him. I would either pretend not to know him or he would be my best friend, often my best friend.” You paused, looking over at Bellamy. “I don’t know if that’s what it’s like to have a sibling, but I always thought that he was the closest I would have to one.”

A half smile lit up Bellamy’s face as he laughed a little, a look of confusion and amusement in his face as he looked at you while you were talking. “That’s pretty close actually.” He admitted, and you smiled back at him.

“Hey, um, how long we’ve been in here?” He asked, feeling his cheeks become warm at seeing you so peaceful, an awkward pit forming in his stomach, as he avoided looking at you, trying to stomp out those sensations, his tone not reflecting any of the inner turmoil he was going through.

“Um, it has been,” You paused momentarily, squinting at your watch in the dim light, “about two hours.” You told him.

He nodded slightly. “I think I’m gonna sleep.” He said to you, momentarily adjusting himself slightly, careful not to disturb Charlotte. “You should too.” He said.

You nodded slightly in response, slowly lowering your head down, resting just below his forearm. You loosely wrapped an arm around Charlotte, smiling slightly from the warmth that she radiated, feeling your exhaustion hit you like a truck. You yawned tiredly, your body curling up slightly as you subconsciously inched closer to them, feeling a hand move to rest on your waist, a bit too tired to say anything about it.

“G’night (y/n).” Bellamy mumbled sleepily, his breath fanning across your face, and you smiled softly, feeling a bit comforted by it.

“G, night.” You mumbled back as he fell asleep, almost instantaneously, soft snores emitting from him.

Despite your exhaustion, you didn’t feel particularly sleepy. You laid there, conscious enough for your eyes to keep open, though drowsy enough for you to not be able to control your thoughts; you were admiring Bellamy’s sleeping features. The hard lines and clenched jaw which were often present, seemed to have vanished, his face softening. You were close enough that you were able to count all the freckles on his face, and you found yourself smiling a bit, because he really was gorgeous. It truly wasn’t fair.

Some distant part of your brain was yelling at you to stop doing this, because first of all it was a bit creepy, and second of all you didn’t even like him. He was rude and arrogant, although he was still somehow soft and vulnerable. You shook your head slightly, shaking the thoughts of admiration from your head, knowing that at some point soon you would clash heads once more.

You sighed, exasperated that sleep would not come to you, and you glanced at your watch once more, seeing that an hour had passed, and you groaned softly in frustration. You shivered slightly as a cold breeze entered the cave, and you scooched closer to them, before your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

If a cold breeze had entered and none of the thick porous fog had, did that mean it was gone?

You listened silently for a few moments, no longer hearing the steady whoosh of the fog, and you softly moved away from them, before attempting to stand up, gripping onto the rock on the side of the cave for support, standing fully. You limped towards the mouth of the cave, wincing as you stepped a bit too roughly, a burning pain shooting through your calf. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to will the pain away, before walking forward with gritted teeth.

You saw that there was no fog, and you felt a small smile form on your face, as you walked back into the cave, trying to keep yourself from jogging back, knowing that it would hurt.

“Bellamy!” You whispered to him, shaking him slightly, and he woke up, looking alarmed, his face immediately relaxing at seeing you. “The fog’s gone.” You told him, and you thought he would have been happy.

Instead there was a scowl on his face. He opened his mouth, about to chastise you for walking on your leg, though stopped himself, before scoffing and shaking his head, moving to wake Charlotte up. 

You huffed as he ignored you, and you rolled your eyes at him because he was being a child. You walked to the mouth of the cave waiting for him and Charlotte to catch up, both rubbing the sleep from their eyes, all of you squinting at the harsh morning light that came from the outside of the cave.

“It’s all clear.” Bellamy said, and you turned to him with a ‘what the fuck’ look.

“Yeah. I just said that.” You said, shaking your head in disbelief at him. 

“Anybody out here!?” He yelled out, ignoring you, and suddenly you remembered the voice that had screamed for him, bile forming in your mouth. 

“Jones!” He yelled out, and you felt a paralyzing fear that you had lost someone, feeling your stomach contort.

“We’re here!” Jones yelled out, and you and Bellamy shared a momentary glance before you headed in the direction in which he had yelled from, Charlotte following the both of you.

You felt a shaky sigh of relief escape you as you saw three other making their way towards you.

“Lost you in the stew. Where’d you go?” Bellamy asked, and your face scrunched up in confusion, because it was a bit of an odd phrase.

“Made it to a cave down there.” Jones said, motioning behind them with a makeshift spear. “The hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” Bellamy answered, and you mentally did a head count, before your mental alarm went off that someone was missing. 

“Where’s Atom?” You asked shakily, though in your gut you already knew the answer. The silence from them was enough to confirm your suspicions, and you let out a choked sob, your hands moving to cover your mouth, in an attempt to keep you from screaming out. 

Your bottom lip trembled, a look of panic on your face as you looked between them momentarily. “What are you waiting for? We have to find him!” You yelled, blood pounding in your ears as you took a few shaky breaths, feeling as if you were drowning, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. Ignoring your emotions, you turned on your heel and began to run though the forest. 

“Fuck.” Bellamy muttered, immediately chasing after you, calling out for you, though you continued to run, despite the throbbing in your leg, only stopping once he caught up to you, your leg screaming with exhaustion.

“Bellamy, we have to find him.” You said to him, biting your trembling lip to keep from whimpering out, a few tears beginning to fall as you stubbornly wiped them away, knowing that they wouldn’t help.

He sighed, looking away from you, feeling his heart catch in his throat at seeing you so distressed, and he nodded slightly. “We will. I promise.” He said to you.

You heard Charlotte scream from behind you, and you and Bellamy ran towards her as she screamed again, your heart catching in your throat as you saw Atom at the bottom of the slight hill, his skin chapped and bloody, as if the fog had been eating through his flesh.

You breathed shakily, feeling your heart pounding in your chest, your feet rooted in position till you saw his chest rise shakily, and instantly you moved forward, tumbling slightly over a few roots. Bellamy followed you as you crouched beside Atom, gently grabbing his hand.

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay.” You said, your voice quivering with the lie.

His face contorted in pain, and you shifted slightly so that you gently rested your hand on his forehead, remembering that that often comforted people.

Bellamy looked concerned and unsure of what to do, and you thought that you saw a bit of shame flit through his eyes, and your other hand moved to grab Bellamy’s wrist, trying to reassure him that this wasn’t his fault.

Atom began muttering, his words slowly becoming comprehensible. “Kill me.” He begged raspily, and you shut your eyes, letting a few tears silently fall, before looking over at Bellamy who had the same unsure and scared look on his face.

You continued to gently whisper to him, gently carding your fingers through his hair. “You’re gonna be okay.” You lied tearfully, trying to believe it, as you repeated it like a mantra, as if the more you said it the more it would make it true.

You looked up and saw that the rest of the group had gotten there, and Atom continued to write in pain.

“Can’t. Breathe.” He choked out, and you shut your eyes tightly, continuing to gently card your fingers through his hair, before opening your eyes to see Charlotte hand her knife to Bellamy.

“Don’t be afraid.” She said simply, and you shook your head slightly.

“Bellamy, no.” You choked out, seeing the determination in his eyes, and you shook your head, hoping that he wouldn’t. 

“Go back to camp.” He told the others, looking away from you, and you closed your eyes, trying to reason with yourself that this was something that had to be done, despite the fact that you were in pain that this was the only option. 

“Charlotte, you too.” He said, his voice heavy and pleading, trying to get her to leave.

“Charlotte, please.” You elaborated, begging her to go back. You couldn’t let her stay for this.

She reluctantly walked away, and you slightly adjusted Atom’s head so that it was propped up slightly, resting on your thigh, as you began to sing gently to him, nodding slightly at Bellamy who had kneeled down next to him, placing the knife against his throat, letting him know that this had to be done.

He hesitated with the knife, and you saw the fear and anguish in his face, your other hand grabbing his free hand squeezing slightly to let him know that you were there. That he wasn’t alone in this.

“Bellamy.” You said softly, his eyes meeting yours, a look of pure anguish on his face. He gripped your hand tightly, closing his eyes tightly in pain, before his grip on your hand gentled and he looked over his shoulder, Clarke standing there.

You returned to singing to Atom, trying to ease his mind, as she immediately walked over and kneeled down on the other side of him, before looking between the both of you.

“I heard screams.” She said.

“Charlotte found him.” Bellamy told her, and your voice quivered as a slight sob escaped you, though you continued to sing softly. “I sent her back to camp.” He said, his voice breaking slightly, and you squeezed his hand again.

You saw her look between the both of you, and she smiled sadly, and your eyes widened in realization of what she was gonna do, and you shook your head softly at her, and you stopped singing briefly.

She gave you a sad smile, and a small questioning look, and you nodded in understanding, before singing to him again, carding your fingers through his hair, as he stilled a little bit, though his body still wracked with pain.

“Ok.” Clarke whispered to him, a sad small smile on her face, her voice cracking. “I’m gonna help you, all right?” She said, taking the knife from Bellamy, and you both looked at her in painful awe as she stuck the knife into the side of his throat, the blood slowly seeping out of his neck and onto your pants, as she hummed with you, gently stroking his face as the light slowly vanished from his eyes.

You lip quivered, as you whimpered slightly, and you felt Bellamy wrap his arms around you, resting your head on his chest as you quietly cried into his shirt, your hand gripping Clarke’s fiercely as the three of you sat in quiet for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened. What the three of you had just done.

You found the peace a bit unsettling, tasting bile in your mouth, your stomach churning as you tried to scream -you wanted to scream- though you found no voice in your throat.

“How’re we gonna take him back?” You finally asked, your voice sounding chalky and broken, scared that if you spoke too loud it might make things worse.

“I’ve got some tarp in my pack.” Bellamy answered, his voice shaky as he took it out, and you and Clarke gently rolled his body onto the tarp, as she shakily stood up.

“I’ll go get Finn and Wells.” She said softly, before running away from the blood stained dirt, leaving her backpack abandoned.

“Bellamy?” You whispered out, your voice shaking as more tears threatened to spill from your eyes. 

“Yeah?” He asked gently, staring down at you, your body not having moved from when Atom’s head rested on your lap.

“I can’t stand up.” You said softly, your voice quivering.

He looked at you briefly, his eyes shutting momentarily as he bit down at his bottom lip, before looking down at you, reaching down to grab your arms and pull you up.

“Thank you.” You whispered to him, as you stood up, your legs trembling with pain. 

Clarke, Wells and Finn appeared in the clearing momentarily, Clarke grabbing her backpack as Wells grabbed the other side of the tarp that Bellamy was holding, and the five of you began the trek back to camp in silence.

You whimpered slightly as you stepped wrong, immediately feeling a reassuring hand on your shoulder and looked back to see Bellamy with a look of worry on his face.

You laugh hollowly, shaking your head as you continued to walk again. “We never got food.” You commented to yourself.

You realized that you had slowed the group down considerably, despite the fact that you were walking as fast as you could, as it was nearly pitch black once you got back to camp.

Bellamy and Wells slowly placed Atom’s tarp covered body down, and Bellamy instantly walked up to you, placing your arm around his shoulders to use him as a crutch.

“Get Clarke whatever she needs.” He ordered to some kid, and he nodded, immediately turning to follow Clarke.

“I better go get this grave dug.” Wells said to you both.

“I’ll help.” You offered.

“No. You’re not.” Bellamy said to you, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“I’m fine, Bellamy.” You argued.

“I have to agree with Bellamy on this, sorry (y/n).” Wells said, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Try to stay off your leg and let it heal.” He said kindly, moving away to begin digging the grave.

Bellamy glanced at you, and you rolled your eyes. “What?” You asked, annoyance in your tone.

“I’m not the only one who thinks you should stay off your leg.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, Blake.”

You saw Octavia run to Clarke, and your eyes widened, remembering that she didn’t know. “Bellamy.” You whispered to him, and he looked at your briefly, your eyes flickering over to see Clarke trying to keep Octavia from heading towards you guys. “It’s not your fault.” You reassure quickly, before Octavia reaches you guys.

“Octavia, just stay there.” You told her, your voice a little shaky, as she tried to move past you and Bellamy.

“O, please, just stay back.” He pleaded, his voice heavy, his free arm trying to keep her from seeing him, though she pushed through.

“Stop.” She whined, gently pushing on his shoulder, and he let her pass, a look of despair on his face. You gently squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him that it would be okay, as the both of you waited for her response.

She knelt down and gently pulled the tarp back, revealing Atom’s mauled body, and you closed your eyes, instinctively hiding your face in Bellamy’s chest, his arms gently yet protectively wrapped around you, your stomach in knots at seeing his body again. You suddenly became hyper aware of the dried blood on your body, and felt a wave of queasiness wash over you, as you gulped, trying to keep your stomach from lurching, before looking back, trying to be there for Octavia. 

“There’s nothing I could do.” Bellamy said, shame and guilt filling his voice.

“Don’t.” Octavia said shakily, and you shook your head at her, knowing that your response would’ve been similar, but still didn’t like the edge of accusation in her voice.

“We did all we could.” You told her, and suddenly her hardened expression reserved for her brother broke, and you saw the resemblance between them again; they had the same look of vulnerability: eyes quivering, lip trembling and shaky breathing. 

She placed the tarp back onto him, her expression becoming angry as she walked past you both.

“O. O, please.” Bellamy begged, briefly leaving your side to follow her, leaving you a bit shaky.

“Don’t.” She repeated, this time extending her hand to keep Bellamy from her.

“It wasn’t his fault, Octavia.” You tried to reason with her, and she just scoffed, shaking her head.

“Whatever.” She said simply, before stalking off and you were sure that you could see tears in her eyes, though you decided not to press.

“It’s not your fault.” You repeated to Bellamy, though he avoided your gaze, and you saw the guilt on his face. “Bellamy.” You said trying to grab his attention, though he just continued ignoring you. “Bellamy, look at me.” You said gently, your hands moving to gently cup his face so that he would look at you, a hollow expression on his face.

“It’s not your fault.” You said softly, your voice quivering slightly as tears burned your eyes, threatening to fall. 

You saw his broken expression change slightly, a fraction of the guilt leaving his eyes, and he seemed to nod, not quite in agreement with your words. He sniffed slightly, his expression becoming stoic as Murphy strolled up to the two of you. Your gaze hardened as he approached, still very wary of him.

“Lose anyone here?” Bellamy asked, his voice hard, and you were unsure if Murphy heard the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” He replied curtly.

“Jasper?” Bellamy asked, and you were grateful that he did, not trusting your voice to come out in trembles if you asked about your friend, and you were not going to show vulnerability to John Murphy. Your feelings about being vulnerable in front of Bellamy Blake had changed, though. 

“Still breathing. Barely.” He said, and you felt a little bit of relief set in. “I tried to take him out -”

Your eyes widened and your nostrils flared, anger seething in your bones and you would’ve lurched forward and strangled him if Bellamy hadn’t had a firm grip on your shoulder preventing you from doing so, so instead you stood still, visibly shaking with anger.

“But your psycho little sister-”

And that’s when Bellamy seemed to have lost it, his grip on you disappearing. No longer anchored, you punched Murphy in the stomach, your hand colliding slightly with Bellamy who gripped him by the collar.

“My what?” He screamed at him, and suddenly you became afraid, because even if your temper was always as bad as this outburst, Murphy wasn’t worth the amount of anger that Bellamy was exuding.

“Bellamy!” You exclaimed, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to pull him off of Murphy, and he instinctively shoved your hand off with his shoulder. “He’s not worth it.” You told him, trying to calm him down.

“Your little sister.” Murphy said, rather calmly though you heard the slight hint of fear in his tone, and he pushed Bellamy off of him.

“Bellamy.” You cried out, trying to pull him away from Murphy, though he remained rooted in place, your hand still resting on his shoulder.

“Yeah that’s right. My little sister.” He spat out. “Got anything else you wanna say about her?” He challenged.

“Bellamy.” You begged softly, breathing shakily as you tried to pull him away from Murphy.

“Nothing.” Murphy drawled, rolling his eyes slightly. “Sorry.”

Bellamy turned away from him, gently grabbing your hand from his shoulder with a gentle squeeze as if to thank you for not letting him escalate the situation more. He looked at you briefly, guilt flashing over his face as he saw the fear and exasperation written across your features. He took a shaky breath, his anger leaving him, before glancing back at Murphy. “Get him out of here.” He said, motioning towards Atom’s body, and you could hear the exhaustion and exasperation in his tone. He walked off, a group of people moving to bring Atom’s body over to the small graveyard that had already begun. 

You followed, hobbling after him, and you saw him come up to a relatively empty section of camp, sitting on a log with his head in his hands, a look mixed between guilt and shame on his face.

“What do you want, (l/n)?” He asked, not looking up, and you ignored his question, sitting down next to him. 

“You look like you could use a friend.” You said simply, and he looked up from his hands, a slight look of confusion on his face.

“We friends now?” He asked, and you laughed slightly shrugging your shoulders. Your laugh seemed to be infectious, because his lips gently curled up into a smile, though the sadness was still apparent in his eyes.

“How about on a trial basis?” You joked, and he rolled his eyes, snorting slightly, shaking his head.

“That’s awful.” He said about your joke, his warm soft melancholy smile on his face.

You shrugged your shoulders in slight defense. “I never said I was funny.” You defended. “Although it’s sort of true.” You were sort of friends.

He laughed silently, though the heaviness returned, and he sat up a little, though avoided looking at you, and you saw the vulnerable Bellamy Blake. The real Bellamy Blake, the one you were fond of.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk.” You gently reassured him, placing your hand on top of his, offering him a sad half-smile, understanding the inner turmoil he was feeling. He offered you a grateful smile, readjusting his hand so that he was loosely holding onto yours, looking away from you, letting his face darken, his eyes quivering, his bottom lip trembling and breathing in shaky shallow breaths.

You both remained like that for about ten minutes, before he spoke, breaking the thick, though comfortable silence.

“Do you wanna check on Jasper?” He asked, and you looked at him with surprise, because every time you went to check on Jasper he chastised you. 

“Are you gonna let me, Blake?” You asked, laughing in confusion. 

He laughed, shaking his head. “Even if I said no, you would do it anyway.” He pointed out, and you felt slightly embarrassed as he pointed that out, though mostly proud.

“Yeah.” You agreed, laughing with him. “But why are you asking then?” You asked him, still confused.

“It hurts to climb up the ladder, right?” He asked, and you nodded reluctantly, trying to push the memory of the pain out of your mind. “I’ll help you up then.” He said, and you looked at him with your mouth slightly agape, a doubtful look on your face.

Before you could say anything he stood up, helping you to stand on the log, before he wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his hands hooking under your legs, and you were unsure of how he had managed to get you onto his back in a matter of seconds, any witty remark leaving you.

“I still don’t see how you can get me up.” You said as he entered the dropship, still giving you a piggy-back-ride.

“Can you hold on with your legs and arms if I let go?” He asked.

“I… I think so.” You said slightly nervously, and felt the support from his hands leave your thighs, and you felt yourself slip slightly, tightening your hold, but not to the point of suffocation.

He started up the ladder, and once he reached the second to last rung, you reached behind you and pulled yourself onto the floor, offering him a small nod.

“I’m impressed, Blake.” You admitted, and he smirked at you.

“G’night (y/n).” He said, his smirk melting into his genuine smile, and you felt a smile grow on your face.

“Good night, Bellamy.” You said softly, and he offered a slight wave as he climbed back down the ladder.

“How is he?” You asked gently, crawling over to Jasper, who was surrounded by Clarke, Octavia and Finn. 

Octavia just sort of turned away from you, though Clarke gave you a small nod reassuring you that he was gonna be okay.

“I’m really sorry about Atom.” Clarke said to her gently.

Instinctively your hand moved to rest on Octavia’s, gently brushing your thumb over her knuckles to silently reassure her that she wasn’t alone. She looked at you briefly, and you offered her a small smile, your lips quivering and eyes trembling with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry.” You reiterated, your voice warbling slightly.

She gently squeezed your hand, to reassure her that she wasn’t alone, sighing and looking down at Jasper before looking between you and Clarke. “Guess we’re gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren’t we?” She stated, her voice trembling in an attempt to sound strong. 

“But not you.” She whispered to Jasper, on the verge of tears. “You’re not allowed to die.” She said to him, and you closed your eyes momentarily to keep from crying.

“He’s not gonna die.” You said as softly as her, your voice trembling. “He knows that I’d kill him if he died.” You said jokingly, earning a teary laugh from Octavia and Monty, who was still sitting far-ish away from Jasper.

“Yeah, that’s why Jasper and I won’t die. (y/n) won’t let us.” Monty joked, his voice warbled from emotion, and you offered him a small smile, moving away from Jasper to sit with Monty, resting your head on his shoulder, grabbing hold of his hand.

He smiled sadly at you, and you returned his sad smile, gently kissing him on the cheek, before shifting, so that he rested his head on your shoulder, your fingers peacefully playing with the ends of his hair.

“When’s the last time you slept?” You quietly asked him, and he stayed silent, and you felt your heart lurch. “Go to sleep, okay?” You told him, and he nodded in acknowledgment, quickly dozing off.

You smiled softly at your sleeping friend, gently shifting his body so that he was now resting on his pillow, still on the cold metal floor of the dropship. You quickly grabbed the blanket that he had been using and gently placed it on top of him, pressing a small kiss to the top of his forehead, before standing up.

“I’m gonna go see how things are running in camp.” You informed them. “If anything changes, please get me.”

“I promise.” Clarke told you, and you nodded in response before you hopped down the rungs, noticing the pain though pushing it from your mind. 

You exited the dropship and saw that everything was in relative peace, and it was quiet. It seemed as if most people were in their tents, and you checked your watch, before deciding that you would go see if Wells needed any help with Atom’s grave.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you saw.

Your breathing increased, blood pounding to your ears as you saw Wells on the ground, bleeding out from his neck, choking slightly. Instantly you fell next to him, placing pressure on the wound, a choked sob escaping you, your hands becoming warm and bloody.

“Bellamy!” You screeched, hyperventilating, unsure of what to do. “Bellamy!” You yelled again, and in less than a second he was there, his eyes widening as he saw you cradling Wells’ head, who was still choking out. “Get Clarke!” You screamed at him frantically, and he was gone.

“Hey, hey, hey.” You whispered frantically to Wells. “You’re gonna be alright.” You said, nodding your head frantically. “You’re gonna be okay.” You whispered, tears falling from your eyes, as you continued to press on the wound, your fingers slippery, feeling his pulse become weaker and weaker.

Within less than thirty seconds Bellamy and Clarke had returned, a shuddering cry escaping Clarke as she immediately sat next to you, grabbing Wells’ hand, pressing a kiss to it, sobbing.

“I’m so sorry.” She said to him. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve trusted you.”

“Wells, no.” You cried out, bunching the sleeve of your shirt over your hand, trying to absorb the blood, before pressing your hand on the wound again, barely feeling his pulse.

“Hey, you’re not gonna die.” Clarke whispered, shaking her head. “You’re gonna be fine.” She sobbed.

He gently squeezed her hand, and she looked up at him with her tear stained face, and he just smiled softly, before the light left his eyes, his head going limp in your hands.

“No. No. No!” Clarke screamed, sobbing violently, and you just sat there, your mouth agape in horror, waiting for a scream to escape you as tears pooled in your eyes.

You began hyperventilating, not being able to scream out, not accepting it. “No, no.” You rasped out, shaking your head. “Wells!” You yell at him, waiting for him to move or speak but he doesn’t. “Wells.” You whimpered out, gently shaking his shoulders, waiting for a response you knew wouldn’t come.

“No.” You whisper softly, your mouth agape as you sit there, not processing anything. You could hear Clarke crying and sobbing next to you, though it all sounded fuzzy, your vision focusing on the space in front of you, your mind blank, not being able to process what had just happened.

Bellamy had come back with a few others, who had started to begin to dig a grave for Wells, dragging Clarke back up to the dropship, and you had just sat there with Wells’ head still resting in your lap.

You didn’t remember when or how you had moved, though you knew that someone had spoken to you, and grabbed your hand, pulling your body away from Wells and you had ended up in front of the dropship, staring out into the empty night.

You didn’t sleep. You were in too much shock to even move, much less sleep. Everything felt foreign, as if you were in your body but watching from above with no control as to what was happening.

Instead, you just stared off into space, your mind trying to process the deaths of two of your friends in the span of five hours. And they’d both died with their heads in your lap. It seemed that you weren’t properly equipped to deal with that information, remaining mentally blank for hours.

At some point the feeling changed, and you slowly became more aware of your body, feeling less numb that you had before, though still too numb to properly process what had happened.

It wasn’t until the sun came out that sitting there was causing you anxiety; you reeked of blood and felt awful, before you immediately stood up, and walked to your tent grabbing your towel, soup, and spare set of clothes, mechanically walking to the stream nearby.

You didn’t necessarily know what you were doing, still a bit numb to process anything, before you came upon the stream, and your nerves seemed to calm and heighten at the same time.

You placed your towel, with your soap resting on top of it, on the edge of the river, your clean set of clothes resting next to your towel, though a little further from the shore, your boots next to your towel. You haphazardly threw off your clothes, and waddled into the river, the cold running water jolting you awake, your emotions beginning to slowly turn on, slowly beginning to pour out of you.

You slowly waddled back to shore, grabbing your bar of soap, rubbing it furiously between your hands to create suds, no longer able to see your hands. Placing the bar of soap back down you began to scrub your body furiously, before a wave of sensation hit you, silent tears beginning to wrack your body as you scrubbed harder, your skin progressively feeling more raw.

You scrubbed until you ran out of tears, before wading back into the water, the suds coming off of your body, and you looked on as it began to foam in the water, and you couldn’t help but think if this was wheat sea foam looked like, no wonder Aphrodite was born from it.

The water began to tint red as the blood came off your body, your eyes widening and you felt your throat seem to choke up, your heart beating rapidly as you stared forward, the unbearable static silence seeming to grow louder and louder, making it harder to think.

You ran to the shore of the river, wrapping your towel around you as you shivered slightly, having felt your anxiety become too much, scared that you might drown in the water, the same way you felt as if you were drowning in your mess of thoughts and emotions.

You quickly dried off, and put on your clean clothes, warmed from the sun. You involuntarily smiled, the feeling of clean clothes alone making you feel at momentary peace. You sighed, looking at your bloody and torn clothes, and with a sudden burst of energy you placed them in the water, some blood immediately washing out.

You grabbed the bar of soap once more, rubbing it on the bloody stains across your clothes, before they mixed out of the fabric, and you pulled your clothes out of the river, clean but now soaking wet.

You quickly gathered your things, a piece of your mind conscious enough to tell you that you should return back to camp, before turned away from the camp to see an angry Bellamy Blake emerge from the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you notice any grammar errors please let me know, I've proofread at least 3 times and i'm positive that there are still mistakes


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